Man. Just so fucked up to read that shit about Fabi. I hate the adult world sometimes, and chess world in particular is so depressing yuck. I hate it all. I didn't even let myself think of the implications of it all because it's all so murky. I absolutely hate it all. What a grown fucking guy of 30 is thinking doing this is beyond me. Or how they can bring themselves to. Are chess people so developmentally challenged like everyone says? Idk and I don't want to know.
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This is why I want to write childrens' novels I think. That's my internal reason. I want there to be some beauty in the world, some innocence, some light. It's just my way of trying to create it. Maybe the joy I fail to see in the world, I can create in worlds of my own. Hehe. Maybe that's why I love Calvin and Hobbes too so much.
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Hehe. This has my heart.
Well, onwards to chapter 3 tonight.
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