Friday, October 2, 2026

Djoko is still playing. I thought he was done for the year. Must be getting paid a lot. 

I'm ignoring everything I gotta do to just chill today. I think I'll just chess today tbh. Some games were kinda fun just chilling and playing. Shall I try for 21? Maybe I will.

I want a nice song to listen to tbh. 

That achy breaky heart song is stuck in my mind. Don't tear my heart! Haha. Tu tu tu tu tu

Yet another day to bs! Yums. 

Thursday, October 1, 2026

Everything hurts. This is crazy. Movement gets so restricted the minute you have aches and pains yo. Slept funny and neck is also strained lmao. Totally falling apart, aren't I?

Really gotta fix this shit asap. I refuse to allow this to be an impediment for too long. Just tired of this. And so tired of watching a ball whizz by without making an attempt to reach it when my hip hurts. Never again man. Time to take conditioning seriously. 

It's pretty hard to not be cranky when stuff like this happens tbh. 

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I feel so defeated today like. Hmmm. Meh. Like it's annoying when the obstacle is just not a lack of will to work but rather something external. I really hate that. Hopefully it wears off. 😕

Sir Andy

 https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dd8Ztafo1nT/?stkn=aTBqbWptZzVxdGpq

MOFO OMG. FUCK ME THATS SO PRETTY OOF

🙇🏼‍♀️🙇🏼‍♀️🙇🏼‍♀️

Mmmnaaaaan that angle is lethal whaaat 

I am floored

How very wise I used to be 😂 smiling despite myself here. Sheesh. 

I made a pivot to being childish post that time and I'm glad. I'd rather be a goof than wisdomous cuz who cares. Life is short, just enjoy the ride. 

~

I forgot that tomo is a holiday too. Not that it matters I still gotta wake up early but good to know the streets will be clear. And I wanna play hard tomo just. Need to work out properly and fuck that stupid coach who overtrained me lol. Hips also can hurt I didn't even know that 😂. I just want to be fucking good again man. Ugh. I'll do whatever it takes. Idc.  Too long, TOO LONG. 

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Winning stuff I have no business winning. Am I complaining? Ofc. What shitty games eeyuck

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This is gorgeous, but is it worth 5.4 lakhs? I can totally make this stuff. It's right up my alley too, the geometry, the themes. Hmmm. I think I'll give it a shot. Maybe weekends I can keep for a proper painting sess. I'm so very sure that I can create intricate pieces like this. 

Wednesday, September 30, 2026

Dreamt of sk of all people. Weird. Dreams I remember are always so interesting. We were travelling to some place and had to go through areas where people would be like zombies and attack with bottles and needles. Some crazy lady was chasing us through buildings and were they labs? Something like that. Like what in the sci fi dystopia was that sheesh. Dreams are weird. 

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I recall JB saying he strives to get below 10 on centipawn loss. And then I see these other games that are wildly going on in a swing state cuz who cares let's just get the opponent. Haha. It makes me laugh lots. Just the difference in approach is so night and day. Caution vs throw caution to the winds and charge! Just soooo relentless. I suppose that's why I love Sadler too, and Magnus. They combine both these approaches in such harmony it's beautiful. Esp magnus. Every piece of his is in harmony with the rest it's just a fucking symphony man. Like nothing he does is out of sync. Ooof. What a brain that dude must have. 

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Ugh waxing poetic for maggu and he loses to some witty dude. 💀 What a field day for that guy lol

Anytime I play in the sun I get a headache later in the day. This feels awful. Eyes hurting too. This low key sucks cuz my group is so fun I enjoy playing with them but they'll be coming later in the day and I gotta go early. 😕 I really do enjoy the camaraderie with that group, esp that one dude. Ugh. Well. Tis what tis.

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Woohoo all the teas and gifts have arrived. I'm glad. Now to repack and ship it all omg. Hope it goes there easily and he gets it easily. It's a task all this shipping and making customs forms etc. wish I could just outsource all that tbh

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Head still pounding hours later wut man. I'm so weak. So WEAK!

Tuesday, September 29, 2026

Everyday there's a post on tom brady on my timeline like why. Don't even follow the sport he plays or care why his wife left him. How weird are people who fixate on all this honestly. Completely unnecessary.

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I need to get up but I wish to snooze too. The everlasting dilemma of early mornings. I'm like sisyphus. Just pulling the same rock up and watch it roll down. In this case I gotta roll over. Zzzz. Okay ten min nap then I'll gtfo. 

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The sun is merciless. Zapped my willpower away today ezpz

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Oh wow this dudes friend is still playing... crazy. Sometimes I wish he would tell him not to. Idk why I always want to interfere also I don't even know that guy, but something about him hits right into my protectiveness instincts. I feel like a bird wanting to keep him under wingspan. Oh well. Atleast it always made me smile to see how codependent they are on each other. It was good to know there was a teeny tiny smidge of good inside that guys blackened heart. Silver linings I suppose 😆😁

I'm able to beat 2k ratings if I think and play and it's not particularly tough either. Interesting. Lmc what I can do.

~

Steve McQueen looks exactly like Daniel Craig. I somehow really like these old films. They are shot in such a glamourous way. The pouffes and the impeccable style. Legit so distinct. I gotta watch more of these old films sometime. Oh my there's a game of chess in it too lol. That's funny. I'd love to see what the game actually looked like. 

Nagpur Orange is the best fucking fruit ever. Oh my god! It's just the best! Every damn bite is the perfect blend of citrus and coldness I just love it so damn much!! So glad it's back in season I have missed you sooooo much!!!!! 

Guavas and Oranges. S tier fruits. 🥇🏆🧘🏼‍♀️

Monday, September 28, 2026

Mishima

 Closing/ Mishima

Never knew one of my fav authors had a movie about him and none other than Philip Glass created this. 

Wonderment. And the comments talk of Bobs Burgers lol. Never seen it but it must be good. How worlds collide.

~

It's a cold, cold morning today. Knees be hurting yet I must play.

There used to be this thought about belief in a god like entity is a sign of weakness, cuz you need something to hold on to in an ever changing world. All these concepts... reincarnation etc. You have karma. You play debts etc. I don't know if that's true. If any of it is true. But I feel like the idea of experiencing life over and over in different ages and times is so beautiful in itself. There's people I've met at times where it's felt like hey I've known you forever. Right from the start. And some tiny moments of deja vu. I guess I don't view all of this as weakness. I view it as something that's larger than us. And there's so much beauty in that thought for me. Like that line in Gatsby about swimming against the tide and being borne back into the past. I feel like both are necessary. To go forward and to have a healthy view of where you came from. It's a cool journey. It'll be cool to do it over and over. And it'll be lovely to meet people I love over and over. My first ever thought that I remember was of searching for someone specific. It was suuuuch a primal instinct that I still don't know where it came from. There was nothing on the outside influencing that. Idk. I remember that road in the desert where I used to cycle by myself cuz I loved zooming about. I wish I could bottle that feeling. Of the warm sun and the sultry day and the dry wind. Looking up at a pale blue sky and just wondering where I'm supposed to be going. I wonder the exact same thing today as I did back then. I really wonder what the destination is. Always a time for everything. Even this blog, for more than a decade I had barely anything to say. And now I say stuff daily. It's all mundane but I find love and peace in it. I guess that's why this place is so sacred to me, it pretty much contains my entire heart. I'm glad I kept my promise, of being honest no matter what. I think it's more or less just that. 

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Well. The tiny hidden thing of comfort in all this is the same thought I had while doing shrooms lol. Life follows a nice rhythm, you are here, like many before you and many to come after. Just enjoy the ride. There's no need to worry and be afraid. Just meet fate the best you can, and it might just treat you like a friend you always needed. I'd like to believe that. 

~

Heh. And just like that coin market crypto went live lmaoooooo. Of all the bullshit that exists in this world. 😅 

Sunday, September 27, 2026

Mondays are so therapeutic. Makes you shrug off the weekend. I have always loved that. Always the best part of a week. Day looks lovely too. ♥️

~

Battling rain ☔ is a task esp driving in it. Glad I wasn't stuck in traffic for too long sheesh. Now for some good coffee! I am exhausted in the best way.  My little table and basket also just arrived. How quaint. I don't like buying stuff but when I do, it should be cute 🥺. I'm glad I found some good stuff. Picked up two cushion covers for M also haha. I hope she likes. It's the most indian thing I could get. People gift dry fruits for diwali and it's funny but our almonds come from California so shipping them back would feel like returning to sender. Globalisation is 😧. I hope she likes all the silly items and curios tbh. Gotta get them all packed properly. 

It was pleasant hanging with cousin today. It's odd but I've started preferring these distant equations with folks. I think it's good to have company you can chill with without getting too close. Feels better. 

I guess I'm super averse to being close to someone now. Atleast I want to ensure that if I am, then it's only with people I feel a sense of equality with. No more lopsided bs. I always notice how lucky he is to have such a sweet wife though. And he is super sweet with her too. It's a lovely dynamic and he is exceptionally lucky to have her in his life. And she him. Well. Sometimes life just works out exactly right. 

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Uhhh and I'm sooooooooo hungryyyy. 10 am lunching was a bad idea. Heh. I love cooking for others but for myself I never make an effort  I can just eat instant noodles and egg and be done. Lol. I recall one time telling P I even munch watermelon seeds cuz spitting them out feels icky and he told me goodbye cuz the conversation was taking a mental toll hahahahhaha. Oh man. That was epic. Fuck. 

Anyway, hunger calls and I'm out of eggs what can I dooooooooo. 😭

~

Guye Adoba did 2:02 today damn. People are so damn fast!!! Running is life man. Just 🤌🏼 

This dudes friend seems to be playing forever. Hope he is okay. Jesus playing since 3 pm and it's 8.45 now. Fuck. That's crazy. I mean even I've played like this but mostly cuz I enjoyed it lol. Hope it's the same for him. 

Why is ronaldo always in chadds man. Zomg. His wife should tell him to cover up 😭😭😭😭

Boys and their affinity for showing muscles is something I'll never understand. It's always other guys who check em out too haha. Men can be weirdos in a very adorable way tbh. Most of them, not all. Ronaldo in tiny underwear is not 🚫 🚫 🚫 🚫 🚫 🚫 

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I'm lazing about watching people run the Berlin marathon how very nice 🙂 

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Aaaaaa why am I fucking losing again what the fuck this stupid ass game omgggggggggg 

Gah!!!!



Saturday, September 26, 2026

A day wasted is sometimes a day well spent. Kept trying to find an anime to see, landed on daemons of shadow realm and it fizzled the fuck out ezpz. Really need something better to bite into. 

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I have shopping to do as well Oi Oi Oi. It's so boring to shop tbh. But I need new pants 😩. Maybe I'll buy those baggy ones that make everyone look like a stilt walker. Why not. Might as well

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This popped up and it had to be him! 

Rachmaninoff