All the noise today is bothering me. It's just been so loud outside.

I'm thinking of going off for a trek but going alone might not be a good thing idk. Things women have to think of for themselves. 

And I have to begin that brandon sanderson book as well zomg. His books are so huge. I honestly still haven't figured out why people love him so much. I really must. Maybe it's just more for boys tbh. Lmc. That man's work ethic is top notch. And he seems really good at teaching the craft too. Yet I drag my feet with mistborn. 

What's with 3 am thunder and rain? Weather has changed so much this past decade. I don't recall rains past midnights ever. Atleast morning will be cool. 

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Bumness, I wish I could fall asleep rn

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What fun thing can I do today? I feel like going out or something. But then the idea of travel is so exhausting lol. I'll end up seeing rooster. Ugh. Maybe a run later. It's been ages since I ran must have ruined my stride who knows. Adulthood is just juggling every moving piece if one stays up other goes down. What a bun! 

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I hung both my rooks in one move. After hanging queen. Just genius. Pure class. I am sucking too much rn. 

When is WCC I wonder. I hope Guks comes back into form. All this Sindarov hype is making me root for Guks even more lol. He seems like such a good dude on top of that. Both of them do. In a few short years the entire landscape of chess has changed. I barely even follow any events now. Just doesn't feel fun 

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Where be the good chess. Magnus come backkk

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Why does Saturday not feel like Saturday? I am restless. Where be the entertainment?

 5 am cold weather. Yummy. 

For some reason I just recalled a time years ago when I'd tell people jokingly to not bother me else I'll sit on their face and omgggg. 😭😭😭😭

It just struck me now what that implies omgggg. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Ugh. 

I used to be a pristine person, untouched by filth. Look at me now. Knowing all this. 😕

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And you know what it's everyone else's fault tbh who tf sits on someone's face anyway what a vile thing to do yuckky. Everyone is yukky.  

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Imma see another ep of Rooster. Surprisingly sweet show. And such nice writing. I feel like dysfunctional dynamics have replaced the staple happy groups of people shows that used to be the norm. It makes me uncomfortable to watch them cuz I'm always looking for some redemption or happy ending. See even happy ending is a double entendre. Ugh. I yearn for the good ol times where it only meant something in my wholesome. Cheers to Steve Carrell for being such a fine actor. I think my fav rom com is Crazy Stupid Love which seems a bit similar to Rooster' premise. He was so good in that. Even Lil Miss Sunshine. And now that I think about it... They are all movies with a heart tbh. 

I could not hit forehands just. Whyyyyy. Ugh. Frustrating asf. Let's see joining my building group for tennis too, I can atleast get there early morning sometimes. No mo sun for me 😬 😎

I really wish to be really good tbh. That'll be so nice once I break that threshold. Looking forward to getting better. My movement is a lot more flexible now. It's so difficult to switch from running to this start and stop thing. I'd snuck a peek at this fellow also a while back and kept seeing his legs like a creep 🤣🤣. He is so cat like just shuffle shuffle. But yeah. Following some coaches also. It's soooo interesting tbh. And my backhands were absolutely on point today like such fire omggg. I loved that smooth sailing curvy shot smaaaack on the line. 🔥

Maaan. I'm happy rn. Just smiling to myself thinking of racquet swings. I wish I had stuck to tennis throughout adulthood tbh. Oh well. Bettah late than nevaaa! How would shakespeare say it? 

Hark! Though the dial count the lagging day,

And tardy foot doth mock the punctual sun,

Yet better late than leave the deed undone.

For never-coming brings a bootless gray,

Whilst tardy bloom outshines the tomb of day.

Hahahah. Bootless gray. Lmao. This grudging respect I feel for this bard I have mocked for his floral language is pinching me a Lil bit. 

Those were simpler times, when I could pretend his verbosity was like an overly iced cake. Unnecessarily elaborate. But alas, it is I that was the fool. And gladly I wear my dunce cap now. 🧢 

Oh and I have to wash my cap also it smells yuckky. 🤮 

Lol people spamming on building group about errors and transparency in accounting . I now get why so many peeps wish to be involved in the management, never realised that much money was involved. That's nuts. 

Heh. Idle goss is always fun to read. Even the title. Response to malicious social media rumors lmaoooooo. Oh man. Old people and their titling. 🤌🏼

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And Lazavik just dissing everyone left and right lmao. What's going on? Hiki sucks at the game according to him 😭. On his villain arc.

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Oh man just watching some LoTR clip of Aragorn and Arwen presenting him with the evenstar and along comes a twitch notif saying mocking hahahahaha wtf. Way to flip off the moment lmaoooo. Maaan. I can't stop laughing rn. 

More power, more power, forward!! Lmao. Soooooo many instructions I had to hear cuz kept sucking hard today. Maaaan. I could barely get the ball over the net properly haha. Pathetic show of loosey gooseyness.

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Found this really fun insta account of an author screaming out fantasy books dialogues and I love it so much! If that fool of a took can do it. Then SOOO....CAN...YOUU!!

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I love words. Just 🤌🏼 

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" Behold! A fool of great ambition! "

" Grant me peace, thou nuisance. "

Lol! I love. Really need more Shakespearen lingo in my daily life. 

Growing up is crazy. I feel like having constructive discussions is a skill that requires so much fine tuning. I suppose when people become parents they might get a better handle on it. Probably teaches you temperance and patience. Hmmm. Heh. These are also the classes we need in school tbh. 

I guess one lesson to be learnt is that one should absolutely learn keep it simple and uncomplicated. Read, watch stuff, do some work, work out and then sleep peacefully. Own up to mistakes, make amends wherever and generally be considerate. I hope I shall be all those things to everyone I care for. I'll certainly make the effort. 

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Well, it's Ganesh visarjan today. I think it's a good symbolic way to make way for auspicious new beginnings. I never thought about this before but the chant Morya Morya has always been at the background of my life for ever now. 

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It's 7.25 only

Finding all these art based books and I actually feel like deep diving into some of the stuff here. I'm suddenly gripped by fascination for Indian artforms in a very strong way. Maybe I should bring out the paints tonight and do some sketching. 

Bro says his gf also likes to do mindfulness stuff. That's so cute. That she has a very active brain hehe. I loved that cute thing she painted. That pot omg. I'm legit looking forward to getting to know her well. ♥️

Spent time over coffee looking up teas they might like lol. Exciting to send another package. I love mailing stuff for some reason it just feels so nice. This amazon has taken away that quaintness of snail mail lol. Old times. 

Rained all night and it's all hot again oof.  Atleast I slept well. And no tennis cuz rain omg I'll forget how to play at this rate 😭 I wish to rallllyyyyyyy!!! And beat someone 6-0 😬

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And I wish to like feast on something. Chomp chomp. Gimme!!

I am in love with Gond painting style. I definitely want to recreate some it's so incredibly lovely. 

Gifties

Omg so cute. I love love love this art. It's so interesting how Gond art is tbh. Absolutely love the style. 

How very cool that India has so many artforms.  

Sporadic mind working overtime lol. Why do I always notice these 444 type times. I think this symmetry makes it really nice. 

Numbers can be so comforting tbh. They just exist, map and evaluate in silence hehe. That's kinda cool. I wonder what the future of academia looks like going forward. After the Navier Stokes is solved, I suppose it's just a matter of time that all others are solved too. People speak of this being a bubble and others think of dystopia so I wonder what is what. I guess it boils down to the question of sentience and how we define it and how we take initiative. That's a wild thought tbh. Ai doing whatever the fuck not because it feels but because it evolves without true sentience. Heh. Fuck, that's doomy as hell. 

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Man, the sleeplessness has definitely gotten to me. But I am intermittently meh and then okay. I suppose I fall back on this. In uni, this lady allowed her then bf to yell at all the girls in the dorm and everyone stopped talking to her after. Now. I told her someone she is with insulted me so much that I started thinking of him as a horrible person and she ignored it all and kept on ranting about how I'm an awful person for that comparison and more of how dreadful my behaviour was etc. Which she could have addressed many years ago but it was just now. With a lot of cheap shots too. I don't think she deserves having me in her corner. It's not okay to let your partner belittle your friend for ages and then tell them you don't know context and slide by. 

I thought of A just now. And when her cousin made some cheap remark at me and she met me the next day and addressed it on her own. And here this person is spewing venom and telling me he gets along with everyone so I must be the issue. I know she won't feel bad about it cuz she doesn't have a conscience. I mean like... Whatever.

Well. She always complained how noone was ever in her corner and now I genuinely don't think she deserves to have anyone looking out for her. 

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Anyway, tomo onwards...I shall get back to tennis and work and keep myself busy and look forward to life. And the diwali gifts omg I'm so excited for the stuff I'm getting for my brothers gf. I think it'll be nice to and she will like it. 

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Happiness for me and my loves from here on out. 

Another semi sleepless night lol. Atleast the world is still. Feel like playing chess tbh. Morning will be ruined if I do. Oops

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Holy moly the sleep deprivation is getting to me. I cannot even type or think 😭

Lol I snuck a peek. I'd seen that yesterday also, damn cool it was. Bondie man. 

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I lazed away this day too. My leg pains and aches have gotten better with rest. How very cool it is being old 😹 Now if only I get back to my regular sleep. This stress made me want to be alert but zomg where be the mental toughness I so much need? Rescue me!!