♥️

 

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When I see this, a bit of it reminds me of my childhood. I never wanted to 'be someone' and I hated everyone constantly pushing me and trying to make me accomplish great things lol. I was born with a few natural talents that made me stand out. Like the ability to sketch which was inborn, my near perfect memory that let me remember accurately anything I read or focused on just once, stuff that made me be at the top of my class for most of my primary and middle school years without even trying. It all simply came naturally to me. I used to feel like such an impostor because people around me would try hard and stuff they found tough, came really easy to me. I remember that strange sense of awe my mom used to have because I'd spend hours just reading, inhaling books out of sheer interest and curiosity. Yet, what none of them understood about me was a very simple fact - I wanted to be loved for me, the person I was. And not the things I could do. 

Lol. My entire teenage and early adulthood was centered around this tussle of control and how much I hated my dad for never taking an interest in me unless it was about stuff I could accomplish. 

Damn. I've let all that go now. I am happy, I have chosen my own direction, I more or less know what I wish to do, who I want to be, and I'm capable of pursuing the things I want. 

And yet, the part of me that hasn't changed is simply that I still want to be liked and cared for - for being the person I am, and not for what I can do for you.

Interesting.