Delicious

Tiny gestures just have my heart. Just. I love noticing them between people, I love how it feels when someone shows them to me and I just love the underlying affection I sense in them. 

It's also interesting how you can tell the character of a person and their general tendencies by observing the kind of mini behaviours they exhibit. Which is why I set such a store by them too tbh. Last time I was put off completely by a person was when he failed to come through for me on a small thing. Just that one thing was enough to make me realise the kind of person he was. Think I just write people off like that easily once I'm sure. 

The more I allow my emotional side to be open and honest, the more feminine and soft I see myself becoming. I used to feel a dire need to hide those parts of me from everyone, but lately I've started to feel like I don't need to anymore. I used to not be demonstrative at all, but now I feel my actual love language has finally come to the surface and it's more affectionate gestures and words of affirmation. How different from earlier, but it feels very authentically me now. 

I don't think I have room in my life for fights and meanness and unkindness. I used to write these things off in people earlier, but I honestly just don't want to be around that kinda stuff ever again. I think affection can only exist in peace and safety and it's so fundamental to my personality and was so hidden for so long because I never really felt safe displaying it. Sad, but it's cool. Will take the right steps henceforth.