Came out for breakfast and the service is so slow that I could probably take a nap and wake up and still be waiting.

So many folks come out on a Sunday, just to chill with their families. I see a lot of kids rn, lots of chatter, everyone is casual. Sometimes people are so engrossed in their lives. Esp people with kids, they always seem in a hurry to do something or the other. Never do I see them relaxed. Children are such a huge time commitment, most folks just end up being on auto pilot once they have them. And kids are funny they just do their own thing they forget to eat etc and you have to constantly be on their case. Do this, do that. Lol. I wonder what kinda mom I'd be if I had a kid. Depends on the kid I suppose. I'm pretty certain those naughty ones will harass the crap out of me. Esp boys. God, boys are a total mindfuck at times the things they keep doing. Boys are also a bit closer to their mums than their dads. Idk maybe it's a guy thing though. Generally they are so inexpressive with other men. Probably social conditioning. Most of my guys friends have had no issues opening up to me. But they would straight up act all tough with other guys. Lol, I've noticed even M and his friend. They are basically like brothers, a wayward one and a caring one. But M will act all tough with him. Won't coddle at all. Atleast not in front of anyone. Lmao. I find it both endearing and fascinating. Even now, he is being all strict and not giving as much attention as he used to. I'm sure that's by design. He would be a very natural parent tbh. He has all those traits in him as far as I can tell. I don't think I can be strict with anyone tbh. I just melt. Yeah, I'd be the kind to coddle so much they'll be spoilt. I might be strict if they are idiots though. Like the type who do dangerous stuff. Then I'd go mad. But you never know with all this stuff. I just don't want to be like my parents though. I won't be. These days people seem to be doing a lot better as parents too. Whoever I see, has a lot of flexibility and patience and understanding. That's really nice. There's so many elements within your own self you should fix, before you decide to take responsibility for someone else. That's really important. Otherwise all you do is pass on flawed frameworks. Like idk when I see Di. I'm not sure what kind of a parent she would make. She is definitely v responsible in terms of her material goals. But emotionally, I feel she has a kind of self centeredness that is hard to shake off. From personal experience, children don't fix that trait either. So I'm not sure. M doesn't want any kids. She is happy with her aunt status. Me, I'm open to it, but only if whoever I'm with also wants it equally, otherwise I'm okay without too. So it's just open ended. And most of my other friends don't. 

When I was talking to S, I got the sense that he may also not want any, but I feel like his gf has a larger say in this lmao. Man, the thing he said about her checking if he is online on WhatsApp 💀💀💀. Fuck. People can be sooo controlling. I could totally tell he was on the verge of making boomer jokes lol. Even Di would do this. I remember she used to want to check G's phone etc. That's so nuts. Like... so I don't have an issue if my partner reads my messages or anything. I actually am happy to share and in general I think I'm pretty open about who I spoke to what happened etc. But if someone is doing it because they don't trust you, that would feel v uncomfortable. Haha, actually I just don't think I'd ever like a partner like Di, as a friend it is okay and I'm happy to be there. But I can't imagine going through life with someone who may or may not be over their ex, yet controlling of me. Too nightmarish. Plus I don't get it. If you feel insecure you should tell your partner and try to get them on board with it, not distrust them to the point that you have to go behind their backs to be certain. And adding kids to this mindset. Lol. Sounds super healthy. 

Okay food is finally here. Good. I'm hungryyyy