There was so much innocence in me even until a few years ago. Maybe a by product of a sheltered life. I'm lucky I guess. And I'm glad my values and filters are atleast the right way up. It's very easy to make shitty decisions in life. It takes a lot to refrain from them. I'm lucky I've had the support of amazing people and maybe I should thank them more. They helped me understand right from wrong and to never relent when I perceive what is incorrect. Shared values are all that matter. Hmmm. Well let me try to get some sleep. I don't want to be mired in awful thoughts nor do I want to express them with elan and end up regretting them. Because at the end of the day it's not as if I want to be hurtful. I always just choose to walk away, never to actively hurt anyone because I hate that feeling and it's not my place to inflict pain on anyone and I don't want to. So I guess I'll just cuddle in my warm blanket and forget about the evils of this world haha. A touch of drama to lighten the mood and soften the blow my feelings have taken these few years. I feel a bit bruised. Ooopsies. 

I miss my granny tonight. I hope you rest in peace. And I hope my mom is happy. I love her so much. Just want a warm hug from them both. I will never allow anyone to ever disrespect you guys or any woman in my presence. Ever. I'm so grateful that no matter how taxing and stubborn the men we have known were, they were never disrespectful. Never made us feel unsafe or like our self respect is being shredded. I know dad did that in parts and I can't excuse that, but unlike me mum, I'm glad you don't know what other forms of disrespect looks and feels like. Things could have been so shitty but I'm glad you have never had to realise that and I'll never let myself go down a road where I do either. Steering clear of this stuff from now on. 

~

Oh hey right on cue a Sadler yt drops nice. Atleast I can watch some new fangled chess tactic and sleep. Hehe. Nice. It's good to know the world also has gentlemen.