Breaks

Ooohhh ze flip offs just keep coming.

But I love this so damn much. 

Can't take my eyes off of you

Ohhh I can sooo write an erotic scene for this dammit. Hahahaha fuck. 

I want to. I have the exact scene in my mind.

Ooof. 

~

And my FAVVVVV

Dancing Queen

ABBA And meatballs!!! Sweden's finest oofff!!

This song is so for me. Imma be 80 and dance dance dance. Badly but who caaaaareesssss. Dammit. Heh. 

~

Music is part of our souls. All of us who grew up together. We loved it. My one bond with L. We felt the music. Shit man. Shit. You were the first person in my life that I just loved, admired and looked up to. Only to find it all to be a lie. You wanted everyone's love. To feel like you are important to everyone. And you didn't mind knocking others down in that quest. You didn't mind taking from me. That day at your place where you just kept coming on to J. Like why? You knew I loved him. Why? You had your fucking fiance in your life dude.  And all our friends in common who you hurt all the time. I'm sure all of us, we hate what turn of events has come about. But it's just so hard to forgive you L. Knowing that you would do the exact same thing again. Idk. You hurt my one existential wound that I am so scarred by I just can't bring myself to reach out. I'm so sorry. The way I felt then, that moment when it felt like I'd lose what's so precious to me and that my friend is the one to take it and I'll have to just be helpless in my hurt. I'm sure it was exaggerated in my head but see that's the thing about some things in life. Sometimes there is just that one thing, one fear you want to avoid. I think we are all allowed that. And we are allowed to protect what we care about. I never took anyone from you. It's not like that would have been impossible to, it isn't for anyone tbh. The rest of us just don't cross those lines. M doesn't feel insecure around me. Because she knows more than any man in her life she can trust me never to cross a line. That's girl code. Men can be pigs all the time but for a woman to be a pig takes a special kind of awful. 

I could never forgive you for it man. People view these things as self protection, I view it as me unable to get over this one weakness. But if I picture a happy life, having you in it doesn't feature because I know all you'll do is try to destroy it someway by attempting to come between me and whoever. Lol. And I find myself just unable to walk back to any of you all cuz I want my life to be different. So I guess I choose me. With a lot of sadness and love in my heart for you and your parents in particular. But I will not walk back to you. One must have guardrails to ensure people stay in our corner, and you didn't. You're an asshole my darling. Much as I care for you, you are a complete and utter asshole.