Entire night just tossing and turning and feeling sick and then I find this. Heh. I don't have a fear of heights, but I've always felt this particular feeling when I'm on a mountain. Never a building. There's that odd voice that just wants me to jump and it was so scary lol. 

But interesting premise. Maybe at times when you are afraid of stuff you just want to do it just to get over the fear? Hmmm. Can explain my flight instincts at times tbh. When I'm afraid of losing people I just become inapproachable maybe. Like better to run away than risk losing you. Crap. Is this a can of worms to be opened? Haha. NOTTTTT. 

Anyway, It's not an instinct that's omnipresent, it's rare. So let sleeping dogs lie and should it ever happen, just take a deep breath all will be well. I suppose I should not seem inapproachable to people I love though. That is not correct. I wonder if this guy has felt that from me. I'm sorry if I did make him feel like that, I'll try not to be so hasty here on out. But still, on balance I think I have been very patient and caring and I guess I'm not wrong if I wish to feel care and appreciation too. It's just a sad thing how he treats me from time to time. You can check up on me all you want I don't actually mind it but then acting nonchalant to me directly is not right. Being nice can't be that tough. Anyway. Another can of worms hahaa. Nooooottt opening. 

One nice little lesson I picked up from gukesh today - when he sees the win, he stays his hand, takes a drink of water, keeps calm and makes the calculation. That was priceless to watch and truly a champion moment. So I'll use that from now if I feel fear. :)