Just saw that last post in my drafts and I have no clue what I intended to write but who cares it's a complete story by itself. Hehe. 

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Watching world rapid and blitz and it's so hard to follow so many games damn. 

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You know. Lately, esp the last couple of months... It feels as if some veil just went away and it helps me appreciate life and people in a more objective way. Idk what changed tbh but suddenly I don't really feel like I'm beholden to someone but instead I see my own importance in their lives. I feel a lot of stuff is very unspoken at times and we all act and react out of a sense of impulse but for me the more I'm able to appreciate myself and my role, it helps me solidify my own sense of groundedness. I don't feel flaky but more importantly I feel like I should also court quality that matches my core. I have always had a puritan approach to this, and to be honest it's not like I seek something fancy, but I do want quality in terms of character and their treatment of me. I want to feel values and I know only a person or people secure within themselves will be able to provide that for me. 

Talking to bro and discussing all this helps me be happy for him as well, knowing that he has some good people around him. I'm glad. I love him so much, he is one of the most important people in the world to me. Hehe. There's very few who have my heart, and I want to share it with ones who are genuinely in my corner as well. I have started making room for that and I look forward to stable groundedness. Hopefully if there are any insecurities left, they get ironed out in due course.