Haligh, Haligh, A Lie, Haligh

Oh my hedonistic youth. Heh. Idk why so many damn memories are back. Fuck. And I wanna do something hedonistic too. Just get lost in the moment. Admire me, while I do something a bit cheeky. But cheeky is just code now. For something that's crossing a bit of a line. Just a bit though. Just a bit. 

And now we speak with ruined tongues. 

~

AW. Who wrote me so much goddamn poetry sitting on top of the church spire. God he was nuts. Haha. I still remember how it felt to be around someone whose feelings I could intuit. And then he freaked me out by wording exactly that. " I feel like I know you. And I wanna tell you everything about me. " And then he did. First and only person I ran away from. But I was scared. Scared he would trap me like he liked trapping dragonflies. See I don't like that. I hated kids who used to tie their tails to a string. And you AW, always did that. Never take away anyone's freedom darling. Never. Never trap a dragonfly. It's a sin. 

Crazy how time flies. 

Heh. 

And all those years later, just drunk texting me whenever. Lol. Such nutty people I know, and have known. 

It's not that I mind possessiveness, I am possessive too. But I don't want to be possessive of someone that isn't mine. And I would never be. Maybe that's the bit about hedonism that noone talks about. Your guardrails have to be so firm that you never lose yourself. I always turn away from those who don't have them. Rabbit holes are not for me, tempting as they may be.  

~

Haligh, Haligh, A lie, Haligh. Best heartbreak song ever. Cuz I sing and sing, of awwwful things. Hehe. 

~

L, you asshole. Just please get better. I am terrified of losing you so just for once in your stupid life have my back and get the fuck better. All you fucking asshole cunts who screwed me over I fucking love you guys too. Just pls get better.