I miss you. So terribly. I can't lie to myself about that. Lol. Idk why I care so much, but I do. You're the only one in the world who has told me he doesn't want to speak to me, and yet. I miss you. Lol. I don't know why that is. Admitting this makes me feel like your friend who allows people to treat him badly and likes them still. How pathetic of me huh?
Why is the price of caring about you so steep? Why does it mean the complete annihilation of my self esteem? For a person who can't even text me first because idk arrogance? Or trying to show me how little I mean to him? Why? Why treat me like that? What are you even so afraid of? That I'll judge you? Treat you badly? What? Wtf.
I don't get it. I don't get why you had to show me you were a good guy if the thought of hearing my voice for the first time made you act the way you did. Lmao. How crushingly insulting and how easy it was for you to do that.
Yeah okay. Whatever. I don't know what went wrong in your life that you feel the need to be this way with me, but I can't solve it for you. And I deserve to be treated better, period. Not this rock bottom shit where you can't say hi on your own or can't make even bare minimum effort.
Idk why I care about you but fuck you too. Fuck you for being the biggest asshole you could be to me. For no reason. Good going man. Really proud of you. But you know as well as I do that I deserve to be treated better. I deserve all the good things in life not this shit treatment. And if it's so easy for you to treat me like I'm nothing then okay good for you. Keep at it.
Ugh..pivot back to your centre P. No matter how much you miss someone, if they don't treat you right then you'll just spend your life being starved of decency and you don't want that. Life can only be comfortable and nice when both people have respect and consideration, in none of this do I discern consideration. Your friends have it, and they are happy. That's how it should be. And someone willing to make you happy is what you need at the end of the day, that effort has to come from them not just you asking what's up and getting booted like you are a nobody lol. You've always tried to make him feel cared for, you deserve atleast a lil bit of kindness once. And if you are that easy to discard then so be it. Discard me. Fuck it. You're old enough to know how to act so if this is what you chose then so be it. This much irresponsibility only suits teenagers.
Okay pivot lmao. Even if it's tough now and you feel like you don't understand, it doesn't matter.
And also.... Fuck you lol. I'm just so bloody angry at you my god. Half the time I love you lots but some moments I just hate your fucking guts. Stupid arrogant asshat. Aaaaaaa. Whatever. Hope you are doing fine all things considered. I'm sure you must be thriving nicely, constant dickery must make you rock hard and very happy only I'm sure. One day you're going to fucking admit to me that I have been one of the best things in your life and my god the amount of grief I'll give you then so help me god. Gah.
🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
Suck it.
No comments:
Post a Comment