Cloudy outside. I can't go and play today. Damn. But I suppose another rest day won't hurt. Probably take away the last of the pains. Hmm it's already 28th. Time is flyingggg!

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Fuck this year is halfway gone yo! 

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Well, let's just get through the day.

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People post wins from their tennis tourneys and it's guys who are so okok at it. I really want to play well soon tbh. These two dudes were actually practicing with me and were netting all their shots. Hmmm. I suppose it's commendable people taking the time to still play in their 40s tbh. That's great by itself. Recovery must definitely be harder for them. 

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Well, I shall go tomo onwards. I think all parts of my body that could hurt from the shock of it have finished hurting lmao. Time to find new aches and pains. 💪🏼

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Zomg mum is calling to tell me she spoke to L's dad then he asked about me. Ugh. My first reaction was sheesh I don't want to be in that spot. I think I genuinely find the idea of my boundaries being trampled very upsetting. I definitely get over possessive of them. I guess when you know your feelings and fears are safe from exploitation, it's only around those folks you feel kinda relaxed. Anyway, post that tiny moment I also realised, hey I don't need to care or worry, I'll handle it either way. I have no interest in carrying L forward or reconnecting with that group in life, so that's that. I honestly wish to go far away from all these folks. One should just make room for people who are good to us, and that's all. I shall be super careful about that going forward. I suppose that means saying goodbye to my exuberance and habit of tumbling in with joy like a golden retriever. Woof. Tail droop.