Sometimes I wonder. With all the fuck ups in the world. Will people ever sort themselves out? I don't get it. I don't get how you willingly just choose to sit in that misery and do nothing about it. I understand weakness but I don't get laziness. Idk man. I think I've turned that corner into adulthood where I now view things a bit more rigidly, I don't think compassion means giving a free rein either.
I don't know if that boy actually has some mental illness or the years of abuse his dad heaped on them ruined his sensitivities but fuck man. Fuck. It's so tough to hear wtf is happening and those utter fucking assholes who are doing it to him. Fuck. Idk I just feel so so so bad idk how to get rid of this feeling I don't
Man I dated an abusive person for a short while I know first hand how fucked it can be but to just be a sitting duck willingly omggg. When it happened first I didn't know wtf it was cuz the never show themselves as abusive and I used to be so confused until I learnt what was happening was wrong. Like waking me up by shouting at me at 4am and berating me while I had no clue what was going on. Fuck. I can't openly share that but I wonder how many people out there even know how horrifying it is or how fucked things can get. I was lucky, I didn't really have to face anything brutal cuz I had some natural defenses to this behaviour and I quickly ended it but so many others don't have a clue. I was genuinely very lucky that nothing bad happened to me at the time because reading what I did today just made me feel so unsettled. I still feel gross. Dayum.
I don't think they get how that woman in that scenario might also be a victim. I don't think she is some gold digger I think she is someone that got trapped with a fuckhead. Her husband is a monster. Discussing with some random boy how to get his wife off like wtf. Fleecing him for money is so minor compared to how fucked the rest of it is. Damn.
Sometimes I've berated myself for having random boundaries that don't make sense to others. Like wanting people to apologise when they do something to me that they might consider minor. But they don't get why I feel that. You have had to experience how truly awful people can be to realise why these small things matter. Why it's important to take responsibility even when your ego comes in the way. I wish more people understood that, but the world is so fucked that I doubt any do. :(
Man and that thing about not being jealous but wanting to control. Dayum. I never even thought about it. I can feel jealous. Actually not jealous but possessive.I am possessive for sure, and I understand that trait in others and idc if they have it but I simply can't imagine wanting to be controlling without all that. Bruh you gotta be evil and how to do it. And to think some people do it as a sport.
Fuck it and fuck this. I am never ever ever settling for anyone in life who doesn't treat me with love and respect. No fucking way. I'd rather die alone than ever entertain sub par shit fuck that to hell and beyond.
If I ever have a kid, my kid will have the luxury of two loving parents who do the utmost for him or her, istg I will not settle for anything less than the best when it comes to this. And I'm never ever letting anything or anyone harm me or people I care about.
The world can go fuck itself.
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