Cold

It's 23° outside, feels nice and pleasant. Colder nights I feel like just wrapping a blanket and sitting with some soup to warm me up. Was feeling bored around the afternoon but now I feel good. Don't feel too enthusiastic about doing anything though. Watching some old friends episode where Ross takes Rachels' name at the altar. Lmao. What an ass he was. They were soooo starcrossed. Made for good viewing I suppose. Even in this Rachel just acts selfish though lmao. Doesn't want him till he is with someone else then wants to ruin his wedding. And then doesn't go back to him after he gets divorced. 💀 Reminds me of a lot of people I know. 

Oh wow Di is just sending me pics of her trip to Yosemite with her dogs. How cuuute. Adooorable. I just love dogs in scarves. 

I love dogs, but I'm not sure if I'll have a pet again. It's so much responsibility. Maybe when I've settled down properly in life I might get one. Idk. I think life changes a lot once you make the permanent decisions. 

For me, I think I'll just feel a sense of relaxation. I've never made a huge life changing decision before, so I'm not sure what that would be like. I'll be scared for sure. But I guess the stars will align one way or another. I know for sure that I'm done being hurt though, and in my own way I've given up on any expectations from anyone, so I've come back to a very peaceful mindset. Very que sera sera. That's nice and stabilizing. I like feeling grounded and ever since I decided to chill out and trust everything, I've been happy and content. 

You know... Maybe I am a little bit in my own world sometimes. That ivory tower thing actually made me think. M just has a lot more life experience than me, he has known a lot of diverse people. My life has more or less been very homogeneous and sheltered. It's not like I haven't seen things, but I have seen them from a very academic lens, not as a part of it. That's a huge difference. Dammit. I hate when he is right lolol. There's sometimes a weird chasm I sense with him, like his experience levels are so much more than mine that I feel he would be a lot sharper when it comes to people. I don't have that lens, even though I do think I understand people emotionally quite well. In vv tiny moments, he makes me feel like a baby. Like when he said you'd be scared of that homeless dude in his outdoor game. He was sooo right, I'd have probably hid behind him if I was there instinctively.  Haha, I don't think he senses the vulnerable sides in me tbh. But I don't show them also. I'm TOUGH 💪🏼🙃

In other news, thinking of starting a new stretching regimen. Need to fix my injury for good it's just been acting up time and time again it sucks. Marathon goals are seeming distant if it doesn't get done. Ugh. Man, I want to atleast do some good stuff in 2024. Achieve some decent things. Don't want to be stagnant atleast. 

I think imma get my nice blanket out and cuddle in bed and check out some chess games. Or should I read that Bill Bryson book? It's quite easy to read. Ugh. Idk. DILEMMA! 

Cosy cosy nonetheless 

Edit: screw it watched Rick and Morty instead. Latest ep is sooo funny. "sorry you lost a finger, but that's the price of surprise buttplay" DED!

Even that last bit: Unity, I think Rick brought me here to indicate that he has changed, which he has but very slowly 🤣🤣

Oo even Justice League is on Netflix now Woohoo. I can see that sometime, been years