Everyone in the world sucks or what? Maybe I'm more gullible than I thought. Idk man. Is it really being in an ivory tower? 

I just find it hard to believe people can be so degen for just something lame like buying stuff. I mean I don't waaant to believe it, I really don't. :( just makes me so sad to think someone can do that. Esp for... Ugh. 

For the way the events happened like what woman wants two dicks inside her like that for a fucking shopping trip and to take someone's virginity for it I just can't this is too fucked up. I can't wrap my head around some person wanting a boy she isn't attracted to touching her, let alone so intimately. Someone who isn't her husband or partner but some random guy her husband brought home. You can't tell me that this is her idea and she is doing it for just fucking handbags.

I feel like puking. And I feel sick and I want to forget this. :(

Hmm and the thing M doesn't understand and the point I was trying to make was... Idk if he has ever considered the fact that viewing someone with suspicion all the time might be so hurtful to the person you are being suspicious of. In a quest to be self protective, is it fair to ascribe the worst of intentions to people? I'm guilty of doing that with him and in all fairness he did that to me too. I'm sure both of us were only trying to be protective of what we hold dear. But I don't think either of us are bad people who would have sold the other out if push came to shove. I'm sure he wouldn't harm me, and I sure as shit wouldn't harm him. Literally everything that's said between us stays between us and even in times of tiffs neither of us has ever been nasty to the other in public or even shown any signs of strife and I'm sure we never will. I like that. I like that there's an intuitive understanding and a general sense of loyalty in this equation. Lol, I can't believe just months ago I was so hypervigilant about everything, it seems quite silly now. What can I say? I have always chosen to believe the best in him in a clinical sense. Right from the start, no matter what anyone has said. But it took me time to trust the simple stuff. Atleast I've tried to be transparent about it and told him I misjudged him so there isn't anything hidden there. But I do wish we had met under different circumstances, just as two people who happen to meet and see if we got along from there onwards. That might have been so much easier and old school, like most things I like are hehe. 

But yeah this isn't the same as those guys and their bs, not even close. Mehhhh. M just because some stupid shit exists in the world doesn't mean you have to deal with it or be a part of it. You pls just come join me in my ivory tower, it's a very cozy nice place with comfort, good music, stupid jokes and lots and lots and lots of love.