Dream journal

Having such strange dreams also. They feel so real as they dissolve and I wake up. I'm in some house, it's like a bungalow with large gardens while I'm packing and I have a smaller sibling who is being bratty. Place reminds me of those older structures with plants from long ago. Esp those old fashioned large leafed plants that kinda sprawl about. And while we are packing, I am just throwing things in a suitcase cuz why not. I've left it till the last minute. And the younger kid has done something wrong idk what, but it irritates me. So then I go and shout at her. I pull at her pigtail and the rubberband comes off, and I tell our mum that she has been doing that something she wasn't supposed to. I know she has been bratty all day and just giving everyone attitude. Finally I look at her and I realise she is about to cry. I melt a bit and then I just scoop her up and decide to ask her what's up. For once she also doesn't start throwing a tantrum and then just starts clinging to me. I sense something is wrong so I want to ask her what it is but instead I first say I'm sorry. For pulling her band out. It was a small thing but that makes her cling more. So I walk to the garden with her, hoping the sunshine makes her feel better. And ask her what's up. And she goes... Mom and dad don't talk and noone gets to talk badly about mom and it angers her and she is also sad. So I just give her a big hug and promise her noone will talk badly of her mum ever. She complains about her dad never speaking to her about anything, but I know he is sad so he doesn't know what to say and she is too small. I can feel her hurt and angst though. I feel like we are cousins at this point? Idk. Something. And while she clings I decide to let her be as long as she needs and tell her she can pack all her fav things with her. And give her as much reassurance as I can. Hopefully she could feel it through the hug, I tell myself. Then the dream begins to dissolve. Right in that garden as I'm wishing this little kid feels better. 

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And now I'm awake and wuuuuut was thaaaaat? Lol. I don't even know. 😂

Could literally feel the desire to make this kid feel at peace right as I wake up and whooooo was it? 

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Dreams are so funny like faces make sense in them but outside they don't. Well. Atleast I hope the dream kid felt a little reassured. Sorry for snatching at your pigtail little one. Idk why but I'm glad I led with an apology, I feel like hurt folks sometimes just lash out but they need you to understand them more than retaliate at their inability to deal with stuff. 

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Maaaan. 

There's nothing in the world as precious as little kids and hurt kids who can't articulate it just break my heart yo. Like. I wish I could prevent any and all kids from being hurt I wish that was possible. Such a bummer that is.