I thought I'd be a lot more restless but I'm not. Interesting. I guess I've just come to accept everything. It feels like an important phase of life is ending but that's okay. I also feel like I have to put work in for a new, a better phase. And I suppose I just look forward to that now. That's the thing about work like... You can always just press pause on everything else in life and grind lol.

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I think I can handle it. Whatever it is, it's not the end of the world and I think I have it in me to deal with whatever. I mean I'll just have to find the strength to lol. So I shall do my best. I know my instincts are not terrible so I'll defer to them here. 

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Ugh. Whatever. I am deeply missing someone and I'm gonna keep that can of worms aside too lol. When stuff turns shitty from time to time one must just say eff it. Heh. Fine. 💪🏼 God give me the strength to not just melt for no reason. I wish to hold on to the melting only for people who make me feel like they value me, who make me feel important in their lives. And I want that to be of their own accord, because they actually wish for me to feel good and be there. Anyway. Even crying makes me feel dehydrated now. Such a pity. 

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I never knew what Gondwana means. Wild. Now I do. Meh. I'll just watch some chess for a while. Sleep early and then just go play a lot. Atleast tiring myself out will feel good. Might need some cucumbers for my eyes though, they'll be puffy asf tomo morning.