Watching some eps of Reindeer Baby and holy crap it's so scary. Fuck. I can't believe crazies like that exist I got legit scared lmao. Just that fucked up anger and shouting and all that is so damn insane. Man, I really feel like I haven't seen even 1% of how absolutely insane shit that happens. Even these people who shout at each other is kinda low key very disturbing to me. Imagine being scared of someone in your own home or neighborhood mofo. I'd totally lose my mind. I'd rather deal with generic douchebaggery than this nonsense. Aaaaaa. I'm feeling on edgeeeee.

Fuck dude. This type of mental illness is idek what to say these people need to be locked upppp.

You know... This reminds me of that crazy chick from M's stream also tbh. I used to feel the same type of feeling on edge around her too. Like the weird adopting of different personalities, lying incessantly, trying out all angles to seem appealing, trying to cozy up to people who could pay for her with that fake niceness, it was extremely disturbing to me. I can totally imagine someone unhinged like her stalking someone incessantly too somehow. Like keep a facade in front of someone but be absolutely crazy on the inside. It's like she had no concept of normal human behaviour. And you know what was so scary about her? I think it was that incessant acting tbh. I never told him this but I recall her speaking in an eerily similar style to me right down to using yo as a greeting and interrupting whenever I would say anything to him. It was extremely creepy. Thing is, maybe on the outset this behaviour just looks silly but my intuition about people is extremely strong esp when something is wildly off about them. Like some weird alarm bell starts to ring in my head. 

Aaaaa. Fuck. CREEEEEPYYYYYYYYY

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This show is so masterfully done tbh, I'm feeling nightmarish just viewing it. 

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I'm super lucky to have had a sheltered life man. Fuck. On balance, the only objectively awful person I've known is A and even that I left within 6 months. The rest is just life, with its assortment of good and bad experiences. And I'm lucky that every step of the way in my life I've had a bunch of good friends and I don't actually have to deal with nutjobs like in that series. I'd rather take getting mad at stuff like wondering if the person I speak to is considerate of me and generally a respectful person or not and stuff like that. And I think I've even stopped worrying about all this tbh. Just figured that the right people will make me feel safe with them, and the ones that don't are simply not worth bothering with. Having said that, I hope I'm never in a spot in life again where I have to ask myself that horrible question that came to my mind or have anyone make me feel the need to. Still, It's nowhere close to all this abusive, harassing shite I think I'll run away vv far if someone even remotely does that to me. 💀

Well, I truly am privileged in a lot of ways and I'm grateful to have the life I do.