Someone called him a 1000 times? What in the world? Wtf kinda experience has he even had? Man, I'm shook. And I legit do not know what to say to this. Hmmm. Explains why he seems to hate conflict I guess. Or why he is so strange at times. I think he gets so focused on preserving himself that at times he doesn't understand how he treats others too. I used to wonder why he seemed so inconsiderate, but I guess I understand it a bit better now. 

I think he has some trauma from his past though, and in attempting to fight it off or prevent it for recurring, he seems to also treat people in strange ways. It used to flummox me why he was so paranoid with me, especially as I've been nothing but kind to him. To the point where I have genuinely contemplated just running away from him at times cuz I got so tired of dealing with some random distrust not of my making. And it is very unfair to be made to pay the price for someone else's bad behaviour right. That's the part that always got to me. It's awful to do that. Like what I'm reading about Kramnik accusing Hiki of cheating. I'm sure it's extremely hard to have someone portray you in such a bad light when you haven't done anything wrong. Plus it becomes catch 22 this way. If you only think that people who are good to you have an agenda, then you'll only see them with caution and push them away or keep testing them. What people don't realise is that when they are constantly testing someone... the person who is subjected to this behaviour will find it deeply problematic. Lol. Like it's interesting but what in his mind was probably him wanting to protect some boundary, in my mind would come across as... "Hey why are you questioning my integrity?" Those are two v fundamentally diff thoughts and for me, it would come across as insulting. Hmmm. Plus I also don't want to make excuses for behaviour that hurts me at the end of the day. If I do, then I'll end up viewing him like he views his friend A. That dude seems to get a free pass to say and do whatever nonsense but gets by cuz this guy sees his past trauma and rationalises it. He doesn't even expect good behaviour or that his friend would have his back, which I'm not even sure if that guy will. He just lies and says he doesn't know him to actual people he hangs with, that's so awful. Like he is cheating on them by being with him so he has to hide it. That's so wrong, your friendships should be equal and your friends should be in your corner. Lol. Yeah, I refuse to see him in that strange way or excuse bad behaviour or demote him to that level of being like A. Standards of behaviour should be upheld and respect, consideration should be a two way street. 

Either way, shit happens but we have to have the strength to move forward and not look at everyone with some deep distrust otherwise you'll never find someone with quality. Well, I hope he sought some therapy to help with this shit cuz honestly sometimes it is just good to have a professional help make sense of these things. Security and trust are the cornerstones of every good equation and he has to be able to provide that for someone, not just want it to be provided for him. And good people eventually only stay if they are treated with humanity and respect, that isn't really negotiable for anyone. I hope he understands that someday. Well, I hope he figures it out. If you expect something good from me or anyone else for that matter, it's only fair that you ask yourself what good are you adding to my life and hold your own self accountable too. 

Anyway, I've kind of just let it all go now. It's just better if things are relaxed anyway. I don't want to randomly judge him or feel judged or have any ego issues etc. 

Just go with the flowww.