It takes one nice conversation and some relaxing time spent to just let all the negativity go away. Was so nice and chill this weekend just didn't do anything except talk and drink wine sprizters like fancy ladies haha. I miss my friend ya. I miss hanging with her and I just with we all didn't have to grow up haha. Wish we could carve out more time for each other going forward though. Damn dude. I really missed having her around oops. Hope the rough patch is over lmao. It's something she and I both get I guess. Just how to eventually be mature. Lol. If only other M knew how to make things better instead of clinging to ego and other shenanigans. My M actually asked me this time how he was doing etc and if I had considered how tough life is around people who just need you to cater to their ego but aren't ever good to you. She was quite appalled by the way he has treated me and the lack of empathy from him. Can't blame her. Sucks when she puts it in perspective like that. But it's true what she says. I'm sick of having to lie and hide things about how badly he made me feel tbh. I hate lying and I hate that I can't even begin to admit how terrible it was what happened and why I stopped talking. Anyway, genuinely hoping this time it wasn't him peeking cuz that's some insane number. You can't be looking to deceive me to this extent, that's too crazy. Imma close this place for good if it happens again. I'm not comfortable with this behaviour any longer and it's simply not okay to treat me this way. Had more than 3+ years to be nice and tanked every chance while deliberately fooling me simultaneously. 

~

What even is this dude, seriously like wtf, how many more times does he just want to be hurtful, enough no? Grow up and atleast have the decency to apologise instead of this come on. This is no way to behave. FYI it's cheating to look up answers without asking the person directly. Have some courage to speak directly not all this mocked shit. Gah! Just so annoyed at that stupid number itself like. Why should anyone ever trust you if all you do is make them feel bad then act nonchalant like their feelings don't matter only to snoop on them behind their backs? Just. Being so intrusive while pathologically needing the person you are intruding on to feel like you don't care is a very unnatural thing to do. Ego and image keeping that's all. I'm irritated asf about this. 💀💀💀💀💀 If you come back to read this then from the bottom of my heart enough with the bs and figure out a way to be nice on your own sheesh. Just fucking do it enough is enough, a bit of humility won't kill you. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 Fuck you man. Fuck you for this complete assholery seriously I'm annoyed asf rn. DO BETTER! 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕. Ass. Or idk, slum it with your asshole racist crowd who cares. Go for it. 

~ ugh. I feel like laughing also at how completely unhinged this is lmfao. Fuck. Total ass yo. Total. Just AAAAAAA. UGHHHHG. Hate you so goddamn much istg. Asinine depths of mockery, truly. 

~

Oh and you know what else is an option? What was alwaaaays an option? Taking a deep breath, realising life isn't mocked and actually learning how to be nice and to be there for someone. Slow and steady and actually build something that's worth keeping. Ugh. Lack of maturity galore.