Hmmm. I feel like sometimes it's very weird that someone I've been friends with for so long doesn't seem to understand me at all. 

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I don't know what to do about that lol. I think part of the fault lies in me, and my reluctance to call a situation out directly and head on. Then the resentment just builds. I think I should be a bit more open and honest about stuff that bothers me. And also do it in a way that's not abrasive. Lord, these are the skills they should mandatorily teach you lol.

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I am actually craving some good company maybe. And some wholesomeness actually. I really am. Someone that shares my wavelength. I actually really, really miss that. 😶 Plus idk. Maybe it's harder to keep friends as you age? Idk. 

Just getting a bit weird this zone... Hmmm. 

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Anyway, in the interim I'm going to take this as a sign to shift my focus and put it solely on things that need doing. I don't think excessive mindspace on people is something I can afford this year so it's best to let it go and stay busy with stuff. I don't really know what else to do tbh. Heh. Never thought I'd hear myself saying that. Screw it. I'm giving up I just can't do it anymore. I'm gonna just hit a break point if I don't. I just feel very beat up. Race to rock bottom is now complete. ✅