Played a long game and missed mate in one again. By move ten I was so excited that I just started playing fast as usual. Fuck my life. Won the game but made the stupidest mistakes ever and I hate myself rn. Feels like ass.
What I truly hate about this isn't that the opponent played better than me. I love when they play well and I don't mind losing those. It's that I was playing garbage. I hate winning when I play garbage.
And wtf dude. Either I'm excited to play cuz it looks like a cool position or I'm nervous. Both suck cuz I need to be calm and I'm not.
Chess I love you but I fucking hate you too.
Edit: lost another winning game ofc, but fair and square. Suck it.
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