That thing about how people make you feel being your predominant association with them is actually so true. Lately, I've given up on any and all expectations from people. But I do feel like how someone treats you always registers and either makes you fond of them or alienates them from you. For me, the process is gradual, but once a certain threshold is crossed, I either really like them or don't find it easy to go back to them. In case of the latter, I don't even think it's the people you want to go away from, it's that feeling of shittiness within you they evoke that you don't want to feel. And it's easy to say things like " you should not feel this way or that way " but in the end you do, and instead of invalidating it, people should learn to hold that with gentleness and meet you halfway. It's a thing I've started noticing a lot more. Who chooses to prioritise me v who doesn't. And that's a bare minimum to have a healthy equation with someone, isn't it? And I do find it hard now to be fond of those who don't.

Conversely, I'm also very prone to caring about ones who do make me feel nice and I have a lot of affection and loyalty stored up for the ones that are genuine and warm to me. Not people just being nice cuz they want something, but ones who make the right kind of effort. It's easy to spot cuz only the well meaning ones will actually showcase those little things that matter. Checking up on you for you etc. And I never have to second guess them cuz they work to build that foundation of steadiness so I feel secure by default. I love that. I noticed that in my friends as well, they all make time for me I guess the solid, upstanding kinda folks do this cuz it's in their nature to, you don't have to ask them, or have to second guess anything about them. I'd like to think I do the same for people too. Atleast on balance, I hope people I care about know it and I bring positivity into their lives as well. Not a lot I want from folks, but this steadiness and security is something I can't do without and I'll make sure people around me experience it from my side too. ♥️