Wow Di is planning a baby wuuuut. Damn man. So many things you need to think and plan for it. Crazy. Talking about stress management and taking vitamins and such. 

Edit: oh wow and spoke to her and she says she might be ok with an open relationship now. What in the world is happening to people I know? Wtf dude. Reasoning being that if both you and your partner are depressed then you need to bring in something positive sometimes. 

I cannot compute this. 

I don't have the heart to even say what I feel to her tbh. I just don't think she likes her husband. I remember her saying she didn't find all that she wanted. Man, idk. I hate to say this cuz she is my friend but I feel like she is extremely selfish at times. Everything she says and does is all based in her own self interest. Even texting me at 2 am asking me if I'm up and wanting to call me that time if I am. Like, you can't take me for granted to that extent too. 

Sometimes people just make me sad, they really do man. And all these choices at some point are bound to catch up with you and when they do, I have no idea how you all will cope. 

The thing I genuinely hate about all this is - how can you want to bring a child into this? I don't get how that works. Planning a baby should be a happy thing, with lots of love for the kid, for yourself, for your partner. 

I legit feel sad hearing that and hmmm. I don't think I'll carry forward friendships if people become this way. I don't want stuff like this to be a part of my life. I've always kept Di at an arm's length, cuz I sensed that tendency in her to be selfish and I didn't want to be used. I don't really share much of my own life with her. But it won't work for me if she starts going down this road cuz it's simply not the kind of lifestyle I can be around. :(

I also feel sorry for her partner. I just don't think she has ever been in love with him. From what I've heard it seems like he does a lot for her, and shows so much care and concern. All those little things like making food, taking care of her when sick etc. If all that also isn't enough, then what is? Poor dude man. Sometimes guys just get so fucked over, don't they? :( He will just be like a sitting duck in this. Noone deserves this. 

Shit. Something inside me just feels like it's shrivelling up. Not sure why it impacts me so much but it's like a friend who had everything going for them, just decides to make crap choices one after the other and there's nothing you can do to stop them. And they insist on drowning everyone else around them too. 

Ehhhhh. I'm just fed up man. Fed up of her and this constant fucking whine about everything it's just unending. I don't want to deal. Was having a nice quiet evening to myself, should have just continued. Mood kharab kar dia mera pura. 

Need to distract myself now.

Think I'll just play some chess. Fuck it, I'm gonna degen bullet.