Sainthood

Hanging out with some lady friends tonight and getting made fun of for being a saint 💀. You know, I always assumed I'm very liberal and I stand by it, but how is it that so many women  are into casual sex and I'm not? All the experimentations I did, was back when I was in my late teens to early 20s, but after that I've been very steady relationshipy more or less. 

Lol, they are showing me dildos and asking me which I'll prefer and I'm reluctant to even answer this lmao. So many of them prefer asses. Interesting. I like hands and lips for some reason. Esp lips, something about sensual lips makes me want to just kiss. Like Benedict Cumberbatch's. Yum. The weird thing is, I don't think most of them are as sexual as they claim though. Like all of this seems like a lot of talk to me, but none of them strike me as particularly passionate. Idk, something about the extra talk seems like overcompensation at times with most people. Lol, can't really corroborate though. 

Brooooo. Shit. Why can't I also do casual sex and grey areas? My life would have been so much simpler oops. I'm enjoying listening to them but I don't think I can do this myself, I just straight up start acting like a boy and acting like a bro to guys when they come on to me. How do so many women find it so easy? I always knew I was a one man woman, but never knew I'm this strangely conservative when it comes to my own self. Even in my slut phase my fling had turned into a relationship and then at some point he was opening up to me about his life and I was thinking but, but, but we are supposed to be unemotional, aren't we? 💀 And that I can be, for sure. But I feel I've gotten a lot more protective of myself in the last few years especially, this is what happens when you let your romantic side dommy you into wanting to hold hands lol. Which, let me be frank, I love love love to do haha. I won't bang you if I don't want to hold your hand and walk around with you as well. 💀 

Someone pls make my life decisions.

💀💀💀💀

Realising now that I'm actually just meant to be a traditional wife of sorts. Oh boy. This is a fun realisation. The whole world is going women's lib and I want somewhat traditional gender roles. Wonderful. Anyway, true lib is being able to make any choice you want, not just ones that are popular. Plus it's just so nice when the man is the man in the relationship, takes the lead when required etc. And idk I'll make you soup when you are sick and generally fuss over you. And here's hoping we don't need a dildo to make me happy ⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙

Fuck, I'm feeling so shy rn. Gonna hide my face in my drink for a bit.