Had this sudden thought that our man is hitting on someone. Idk where it came from but it just occured to me. Dayum. Just hit me like a bolt out of the blue. 

Am I just very naive? At times I really don't know. :(

Fuck, I just like him so damn much. Oh man. I just can't help liking him either idk why. :( okay, I know why. Lol. Cuz he is honestly one of the most precious people I've had the privilege of coming across and just so gosh darn adorable to boot. Outside of my fam, there's maybe a handful of people in this world that genuinely matter to me, and he is one of them. 💀

Knew this the day I realised I wouldn't want Di to be privvy to my thoughts even though we are friends but I would love for him to know them. Weird, but he makes me want to share stuff with him. 

Boy oh boy oh boy. The possessiveness I feel at times is unreal, isn't it? Lol. Man, you really are an Achilles heel for me, well and truly. Hmmm. But I'm very certain he also has a very dominant and possessive side to him, so atleast he might understand me having one too. I'm not dominating, probably more submissive but bigtime possessive I be for sure. I hate showing this side of me to anyone, it's the one thing I guard like crazy. Very few people would actually know this, even my closest friends haven't really witnessed it tbh.

Okay, let me just get some work done and distract. 

Edit: whew! Idk what had gotten into me suddenly. Djokovic has mamba mentality and I have made myself adopt Que Sera Sera. 😅

Edit 2: if I had to be honest, I think I'm just afraid of losing this equation at times. That's why I suddenly overreact when I feel like he is aloof etc. Ugh and I haaaaate aloofness I hate it. Fuck man, whenever someone is precious, so much fear can suddenly just creep in. For no rhyme or reason at times too. I really hate fluctuations and in general the idea of someone suddenly not being there freaks me out. Like I can take meg, raves, stonu - everyone for granted that way, I just know they'll always be there. Aloofness doesn't bother me with them cuz I know them all so well. I want the same here. A couple of days of non communication shouldn't change that at all. But it isn't anyone's fault I feel this way and I need to work on it and make sure it never impacts anyone else negatively. Sheesh, just had a random moment, didn't I? Haha. Hope a day comes where I can just freely declare that he can take me for granted and let me do the same too. One lives in childish hope 🙃Anyway, from my side atleast I'll try to ensure stability. I'd hate for anyone else to feel like I might dip on them randomly, when it's literally the exact opposite of what I want. 

Okay, I'll just read something and chill and spend time with dad for a bit before he leaves.