Love, Friendship, Loyalty

Shit. I was going to mention this to him today and turns out he already took that call himself. I feel bad for how it much it must have sucked for him to do so. :( He will act all tough and brusque but I know cutting ties with his friend will hurt him lots. It is the right call though and I'm glad he took it. Little voice at the back of my head used to nag at me that I should say something but I always kept it at bay out of respect for their friendship. But I guess what I used to hate was also the lack of loyalty from his friends' end. It can't just be one person having the other one's back while the other one just does whatever they please and lie about it everytime there's a hint of trouble. I hated how he let other people think ill of you without correcting them. That lack of accountability sucks. Reminds me of Diana. We were friends for so long, I used to be there for her all the time and she never had my back the one time I needed her to. Taught me a lesson about being the strong person in an equation. It's like ... You think you don't need them for support and it's true, you don't. You are the caretaker and generally in control so you don't need anyone. But when they just betray you for something tiny is when it hurts cuz you realise all that love and loyalty is one sided. And that's a sucky realisation. But I guess it's a lesson that naturally self reliant people learn across their lives. And even she, with all her insecurity and lack of self worth, didn't let anyone talk ill of me behind my back. I think that's what defines any strong equation. You don't need anyone or any support but that doesn't mean you shouldn't have it or should settle for equations without it. Even if it's unspoken, the undercurrent has to be that your chosen ones are in your corner. 

WHATEVER!!!

Onwards and to better people, you absolutely deserve to get back what you put into your chosen ones and I'm sure you will! Aaaand you have me, I'll come through for you whenever you need me to, and that counts cuz well... Fuck it, I'll say... I'm quite awesome and I know how to carry people forward and take care of them and I'll always be there for the ones I give a shit about. Hehe, this might sound like self flattery but it actually is the unvarnished truth, so I will respect my sentiment for once and not make a wisecrack. 

Okay, TONIGHT I WILL WORK ON MY STORY