Parents' anniversary today and it almost slippe my mind. Ordered then cake last minute and then just felt bad. Like. Not for forgetting but more like I see my dad has all but mentally checked out and is simply doing things cuz he can't just leave outright. And I see my mom is always hurt by his actions but doesn't know what else to do. 

~

Idk man. I just hope I never chase love nor neglect someone the way dad does. I don't want to be like either of them. And I do not ever want to chase someone or feel deprived or crave niceness ever again... I promise myself this from here on out, never again shall I give someone a chance or want something from them until they actually make an effort and treat me right the way my brother and a lot of other guys I know do. Otherwise everyone can fuck off idc. I promise. I am shutting the door on all that's shitty here on out. Yeah like fuck it, I'm never selling myself short ever again nothing and no-one is worth that. And no narcissists ever, no immoral, low class clowns ever. It's time to pick a side and stick to it, no point giving someone benefit of doubt ever again screw that shit too. I used to hold space for people and be understanding but honestly if people are so chicken shit that they can't work on themselves and solve their own issues then well, they can fuck off and be a loser elsewhere I guess