Good Will Hunting

Watching Goodwill Hunting haha. Dammit I love this movie so fucking much. My lifelong love affair with Matt Damon and annoying asf men hahahha.

" He pushes people away before they get a chance to leave him."

" Sometimes I wish I had never met you, because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there " 

~

Funny. When I saw it first, I was a child. I hated the fields medal dude and I got completely what Sean meant when he said it was my choice to not pursue this you mathematical dick. Haha. I think that's the loneliness that comes out of the choice of picking the ordinary route. People who expect you to be extraordinary never fucking get it. And therein lies their insecurity. I do disagree with Sean a little bit now though. I guess maybe he simply didn't love math as much, even though he was great at it. So tis okay. No regrets there. But he was a great psychologist. The only one able to tackle genius. And therein lay his true calling. Heh. 

~

"You're not perfect, sport, and let me save you the suspense: this girl you've met, she's not perfect either." 

Heh... But that is precisely why it's beautiful. There is zero beauty in perfection. It's the imperfections that make the moments of alignment soooo much more meaningful. 

And dammit now he is crying and I feel weepy tooooo. Aaaaa. Dammit that stupid scene just gets to me every fucking time. 💀

Nvm vision blurry now too many tears. 😭

~~

This movie made me realise how my idea of someone who loves me was in some way about him being happy and grateful to have found me and built a life with me. Atleast that's how I envisioned it now but never did I think it was about saving someone like Will, even though it seems a tad bit like that. I don't want someone to ever be indebted to me in any way or have had to go through bad times or anything. I just want them to be happy they found me, that's all. And that our life together while being silly, irreverent and fun, has a deeper, rooted connection where we are both grateful and happy to be with each other. Heh. Nothing fancy, just a bond that is enduring and wholesome. We should be able to talk affectionately and positively about each other both when noone is looking or when everyone is looking. I'd like that.