Mirror

From Sept 23, 2007

Aimed at noone in particular, just a figment of my imagination of the person I one day feel comfortable with. Enveloped within this piece are insights into my wants, desires, and fears. And my love for stubbles and beards that tickle against my skin, making me keenly aware of you as a man. Feeling close has always been very sensorial for me. I guess I'm very earthy that way. 

I remember this blog was titled Mirror, and served as a blank slate for my teenage self to express herself. Hehe. I expect to find childishness within my archives, but I'm actually surprised by how simply I could state exactly what I felt. Even now, I remember writing this at the time, trying to conjure up my vision of safety. I guess I've strived to make that vision clear almost half my life. That vision is always centred around music, it's a part of my soul that can never be separate. Hehe. I like that. The one constant companion that will always love me, show me grace, and make me happy I can experience the joy of partaking in its beauty. Well, I was poetic but why not? And so we dance. 

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, 

Who is the fairest amongst us all?"

"Me", I says to the mirror, for you see mirrors can't talk at all.

"Stumble I might, and at times I may fall. 

But I do my utmost to be fair, towards one and all"

Ps- In retrospect, I'm glad this wasn't aimed at anyone in particular, for it leaves the door open to the magic of possibility. Hehe. 

I know now that fears are simply momentary. And that they should not be given undue importance, but simply experienced as an insight into what your heart desires. A lot of mine might have been a bit too exaggerated in my literary quest to adorn them with just the right flavour, and that works well for fiction writing but it doesn't resonate with real life. 

I guess mine simply tell me I wish to keep people safe and happy. That's the bottom line. And I wish to be enveloped in the arms of someone who gets me well and wants me there with him. It's just that simple and sweet. And the beauty of having the next song play, knowing you are enjoying a pleasant moment but the moment isn't make or break or anything heightened, it's just one among a host of others in daily life. Some days we piss each other off, others we are tired, some just get spent doing chores and daily stuff and talking to friends and then we get a small break just with each other. The routine of it all gives it longevity and maybe that's why I have an affinity for solid structures haha. 

When foundations run deep, the house you build stands firm and tall. So may our foundations always run deep. Amen to that. ♥️