Sometimes I wonder why I make the decisions that I do. But if I trace it back it's more or less so I can untangle whatever knots existed in my thinking. It's like there are two distinct sides to me, one that is easy going, fun loving and brash. The other is insecure, limiting and consequently putting self imposed obstacles in the way of the other side to take the lead. And yet the back of my mind has always had this firm belief and an eternally sunlit faith that everything will be okay. 

So idk guess this is a roundabout way of saying I'm theatrical asf. * Adjusts monocle* 

Edit: you know what, screw it, why tf should I let any self imposed beliefs hamper me? Can't believe how stupid and self indulgent I sounded while telling myself that. Fuck it, I like the way I was late last year and early this year. It was fun, and I felt free and happy. Why tf did I lose my way suddenly? Didn't work for 3 straight years on myself to entertain such negative self talk, did I? Sheesh. Get back up woman, no excuses! 

Also, SHELLY TAKE A SETTTT COME ONNNNNNNNNNNN! FIIIGGGHTTT! BREAK DJOKO LETS GOOOOOOOOOO

Omg I'm so excited lol