💀

Kinda had a really depressing talk with Di. I told her I want to get serious in life and think long term and her first response was you won't find what you are looking for. How sad is that. Especially coming from a married person. I never understood why she went ahead with her marriage if she wasn't completely into him. Even when they were dating, she kept on finding flaws. Man, I feel bad for that guy. Like instead of figuring out what you did wrong, you just want to make yourself feel better by saying others also won't get it right. Ugh. And her comments about my brothers' relationship also used to annoy me. Just cuz her ex cheated doesn't mean all people cheat or can't work on a relationship. I think it would be impolite to point that out but man, I'm a bit pissed off about this. 

Not knowing what you want is one thing but just settling and then internally disliking what you settled for is so so so awful. I never understood how people just play with other peoples' lives that way. Sorry to disappoint Di, but I'd rather be single than screw someone over. You are a friend, but at the end of the day you simply don't have integrity when it comes to people and you don't have any care for anyone other than yourself. You keep using me too as your emotional crutch, I keep sensing that. I'm just so mad at you rn. I wish I could tell you that not everyone cheats either. I never have. Lol, darling, the last boy I liked didn't even feel the same about me, yet when his friends came on to me, I shut them down and never let my boundaries be crossed. And eventually stopped talking to them for that reason alone. That's loyalty, and I didn't even need a label to freely offer it to him nor does he know this. It's cuz I know right from wrong and so do all my other friends, who would have done the exact same thing as me and not indulged/ used someone just cuz they got attention from someone else when they felt unhappy. And just cuz you choose to feed your loneliness and then simultaneously judge your partner for not being all you wanted, doesn't mean the rest of us are that weak. Lol, it's funny I did all that for M...but in retrospect I wouldn't change a thing. It's fine if he didn't feel the same about me, I wouldn't betray him or anyone else just for that. Probably a good idea to pick someone that actually cares about me though next time lolol. 😝😝 Hehe, that might be a nice change of pace 👀. Oh well. Buuut, I digress.

Di - at the moment I really just wanna say a big fat fuck you to you. The worst part of people like you is how you all pretend to be nice and caring on the surface, but honestly, it's just a disappointment underneath it all. 

Ugghhh. 

Ok rant done, now I can chill out and get some Shelton Tiafoe action. r/tennis has Tiafoe as their pick but I think Shelly will come out guns blazing. Rooting for the youngling!