Drops of Jupiter

Spoke to Mum, she is doing better now. Thank god. I just started crying on the call. I was so damn worried about her these two weeks. Mum just freaked out but she was so nice and caring. I think she has never really seen me be vulnerable. Maybe just twice in my life.  Lmao, I always just put on such a tough exterior, it's such a force of habit. It's low key funny when people are stunned seeing me feel bad lol. It's so absurd it makes me want to laugh in the middle of it all. I'm a weirdo alright. 😅

Funny are the cages you put yourself in, people assume you are strong from the outside and never realise you might need support na. It's so hard for me, but in a way it was good I cried a little. I need to learn to include people in my inner space, just so they don't assume I'm just aloof or uncaring. Especially since I'm the opposite. Whaaaate jokes.

2023 - you have been changing me so damn much. Like wtf, all my barriers are melting. I've never been erratic but I guess these must be the teething issues that come with change. I'll make like Jung and observe the fuck out of them. 💪🏼 I wish the process was linear though, for someone left brained like me, there's comfort in knowing outcomes and timelines lmao. 

In another leap of faith, I told M about the raising voice thing lol. Man, it took effort to say it out loud. He didn't say anything, but atleast he knows now. If he chooses not to ack or apologise it's on him, but I gotta do my bit and be fair and not just retreat everytime something stupid happens. These aren't issues that should blow so much out of proportion and I think it's also my responsibility to not let them. He should do his bit but so should I. Oh well, should be okay though, atleast I did the right thing. Anyway blah time to let it go, silly tiffs between friends do not warrant this much footage. ☺️

Okay...Oy vey!!!! Power through! You got this! 

Istg I better fucking attain enlightenment at the end of this road.