Oh finally that crawling is tapering out. Sheesh. All this bs gets on my nerves like why even. 

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I think it was a wrong decision to drink yesterday. I just feel so anxious and weird the day after. I don't know why either. Felt like sharing the dog dream with mum when she called and she didn't even listen. Somehow that kinda hurt me. It hurts me how often what I feel and wish to say gets overlooked and steamrollered like that. I barely do any talking it's just her that speaks. Such a stark difference from dad and bro. Some people completely wish to occupy all the space without leaving any for you. Hmmm. Well, anyway. What can one say, pun not intended. It's interesting how it's always the little things that matter. These horrid ones make me want to disappear. A part me really feels like closing the door to everyone and just scuttling off now. 

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Well, onwards to happier things. Like opening a window at night feels a lot better. Last night I felt so claustrophobic and strange, that suffocating feeling is now gone. Thank fuck. Cool night air feels super therapeutic. I love the breeze, just so serene and peaceful. 

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M keeps seeing D's statuses even now lol. Sending me all the spam she puts up. All these self affirmation posts feel so teenage. I remember she was cringe even back in uni, putting statuses on fb about biatchess that took her bf and how they'll pay for it etc. It used to seem quite insane. I sometimes envy people who simply never self reflect, maybe their lives are a lot more streamlined. Who knows. But it's a bit funny to see all this, keeps things light.