As I sit here working, I feel my stomach grumbling. SO HUNGRY. forgot to order food too lol. Damn.
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It's nice being busy. But it would be nicer if I wasn't hungry. 💀
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Wow someone just commented their insta on a 3 yo post of mine that I'd forgotten exists. Crazy. Atleast I can revisit the music from that time. Silver linings.
Oh wow, saw another thread about M with people saying shitty things. Wonderful. Sits there and begs for money it seems. 💀💀 / Doesn't improve. Sheesh. Dunno what's worse, that or comparison to rosen. Brother. Ouch.
Mondays, huh?
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Azul finally reaches tomo... I hope it makes for a nice gift. I haven't played it myself. Here's wishing. 🤞🏼
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Cumby fighting with a cyclist is just peak humor lol. You're deluded, you're lying hahahah . My kinda celeb squabbles... Obligatory stupid cyclists.
Funniest thing I've seen today lmaooooo.
https://youtu.be/Cjij2jWActw?si=DhKJgEBIVlJT2dN7
Hahahaha. I need to keep this for future reference. Weirdly enough, 21 yo rhett is the exact kinda goofy dude I'd fall for when I was 21 too 🙈. Guys who could make me laugh were just my kryptonite.
Fuck, haven't laughed at a video so much in soooo long!
Every body wants to be a backstreet boy lmaooloool hahaha fuck me that is just 🤌🏼
Traffic sounds on a Sunday morning are super annoying. Just where are all these people going? Ffs.
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Bought a darymple as a gift, hope she likes it. I found it super disappointing to know that whatever else she read she didn't even understand. 💀 Hopefully this one isn't the same. Sheesh.
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I see I tanked a lot of rating playing while distracted yesterday ugh. Now again gotta get it back. Yuckky being 1800 🤢
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Lol, I see the tag. I've had 3 bdays since then... Hmmm. Anyway.
Meh. Let me curl up with a book for a bit.
Drinking and then playing in the cab. And it's so fun tbh. Why do all social gatherings revolve around drinking? Sheesh. But idc tonight. I'm having fun. And I... Ugh. I spend time with all these folks and maybe it's the alcohol a little bit but I don't like it as much as I would have years ago. I mean..like I'm having fun it's not like I'm not. But I suppose my heart is simply not fully in it. It's great, people are nice, it's all good but it's just not it. Weird, huh? I feel like I just miss something. Idk man.
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Maybe I should read some darymple. Make myself feel like I'm lost in some ages past.
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Ugh..i legit don't like drinking no more even with a couple i feel sickish. Yukky. Ughughugh. I don't like this at all rn. :( ugh. Rn I'm missing that stupid fellow who told me not to drink also. Ugh. Like I hate anyone telling me what to do but when he did I didn't feel all that rebellious and kinda like I wanted to listen. Ugh. I feel puky rn omg. Ugh yukky. Oh no. I feel sick. And ugh. I feel more more sick 🤢. Freshly laundered sheets smell good and make me feel less puky rn.
Chess is weird. Some days it feels so easy and idk if it's cuz others are sucking or if you are in a flow. The games I lost today were simply playing fast, and missing obvious blunders. Doing puzzles put me in the calculation mindset and that helped even though I missed hanging pieces.
I fucking hate this game as much as I love it. But a part of me genuinely wants to be good at it. Idk, the thrill of a challenge is soooo enticing. I love it. I love it so damn much.
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Heh. I see this fellow losing to someone random. Why. Hehe, him losing irritates me more than me tbh. But a tiny bit of fuck youuuuu also sneaks up on me haha. Not a lot, just a smidge. Hehe. Sigh. Fuck it. It's a nice day outside I should go down for a bit.
A 3.30 marathon would be cool ngl. The amount of work it'll require though. 💀
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Aaaand I see Rachel Entrekin doing the crazy holy cow. Endurance sports are unfuckingreal! I admire athletes so damn much, truly.
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If I go out tonight, it'll ruin my sleep again zomg. And yet it's pleasant outside and I wanna. Ai yai. Okay a short run. I really wish new apartments werent popping up here, it's becoming too mainstream. It was really nice when it felt like the outskirts, now I always find someone or the other on the street chugging along too hehe. Oh well. Okay let's goooooo.
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Whew. This feels nice. Ran for 40 mins, met a dog, saw a cute guy, ran past him like I didn't see him and now I'm home and I'm stinky. Like a good girl imma take a nice shower and watch a show and pray I can wake up on time tomo.
Oh no I have to do stretching also aaaaa. I hate stretching why why whyyyyy do I have tooooo. Ugh. Gotta get up again. Ugh ugh ugh.
Two things that sound wonderful. The dog upstairs walking around with the pitter patter of his feet, and the sound of rain falling outside. Ofcourse, some days I think its rain only to find that stupid pigeon perching on the chimney and tapping at it 💀
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Trying to mitigate pms this evening with boston legal reruns because why not. It's such a fun show, the 2000s had some of the nicest shows on telly. I should watch freaks and geeks too, I loved that so much! Just wanna cuddle something, eat something chocolatey and hope the cramps don't get worse. Hehe. Monthly issues. I would love to be next to someone watching this today tbh. It's so nice to snuggle sometimes. Even a dog would do rn hahah. I should make friends with the upstairs neighbour so I can dog sit or something lol. Oh but cleaning poop eww yukky. Hmmm. I need to find a guy as senti as me lol. I want some babying rn. 💁🏼♀️🤺 I suppose I want someone I can rely on now... There was a time I wanted 3 kids also lol. Before I knew what labor looks like 💀. I feel like if you love someone then a child is a very lovely way to create something that's a part of both of you. But the idea of pregnancy scares the fuck out of me ngl. Life is such a gamble, isn't it? For some folks atleast. The couples who are in love I think got it right. That's nice. I'm really happy about that. It makes my heart easy to see that tbh. So basically dogs and kids and someone to cuddle haha. And throw in some chocolate cake during pms ooohh la la. Yumzies.
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Trifonov - Jesu, joy of man's desiring
Trifonov is not overrated at all! Piano, I love you. Le beauty of Bach!
A lifetime would not be enough to study music. How does one study infinity anyway? All I can do is marvel at it.
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I was reading Pascal's wager and in all the rationality, I couldn't help but think why don't you speak of music, it connects to something divine without trying. I raise thee all of music Pascal san, and I dare you to be rational in the face of it.
Idk if the irritation I'm feeling is just pms or something else but Jesus I'm soooo irritable. Good lord I'll be like those insta losers who say running for mental health soon 🙄🙄. So fucking lame. Hot, annoyed and thirsty asf.
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Lmao howell is grinding bullet now haha. Fuck. Ok this cheers me up. I just really love that level of degen gaming hahah fuck. Fucking therapeutic. Good stuff. 27 to 3k is an INSANE skill difference. I can't even imagine how sharp someone at 3k must be. Getting just 3 points for wins too. Unreal.
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I need a shower 😤🙄
Cold and rainy again oh hell yeah! Fuck I am so goddamn happy rn!
Ugh. Almost walked into a child while typing this lmao. Careful!!
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Damn now I finally, FINALLY feel like working out a bit. Oof. Oh god I love this weather soooo much! It's so pretty!!
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Found a really nice chess series after so long. Wow, its legit so eye opening. Heh. Maybe I'll finally learn something. I am struck by how fantastic it is. Beautiful.
Sinner is on such a solid streak. I like him so much. Was funny to see people thinking zverev would get him lol. No chance. Wish there were a few more players who could though .
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And I have so much running around to do today yucks. I despise mindless errands so much lol. But what to do. One has to get em doneeee. I am excited for this month, I think I'll be able to finish a bunch of stuff. That's cool. Finally huh.
It's funny when you look at someone with affection, and everything about them seems so endearing. Maybe I'm a senti sap but I really feel so gooey and nice when I notice tiny things about someone. I recall what a colossal grumps this guy used to be and I just found it soooooo amusing and endearing like he just goes through life frowning half the time. Hahah. Omg. I would just MELT for you. And I always wanted to joke around and mess about lots cuz idk ... I guess in my own way I wanted to just pull you out of that perpetual funk and be happy. Heh. I adored you man. Oh well. Oops.
2nd May already ugh. Wut is happening. Lying in bed playing poozles feels great ngl. It's hot outside and I don't want to even step foot in the sun, but right here right now is just so nice.
This week has been peaceful in a strangely hectic way. Felt like a break from everything tbh. Sometimes it takes just a small catalyst to turn a corner. I've always believed that, it's nice to see it play out once in a while. Back to poozles, can I make it to 2200? I think I can if I think and play. What a challenge. 💀
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I wanna watch some movie 🍿. Hail mary was great but there's nothing else exciting on. Meh. I don't wanna drink either. Wut to dooooo. Maybe I should sleep early and go for an early morning drive. That might be nice.
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Stupid new lichess app, I don't want to play on it :(
Ugh. It sucks. Stupid upgrading of things.
*Pouting*
Everything is stupid.
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Took a break after a long time, it feels surreal also lol. Weird, huh? Haven't even seen games just poozles today. I didn't miss it for once. Wow. Stunning. Haha, I say this rn and I'll find myself in a pile of degen gaming at 3 am some night.
I feel so unmotivated rn tho. Someone dangle a carrot for me pls.
