Lately I've been thinking about stoicism. How you should only focus on things you can control. It seems solid. It's the only way to feel grounded. To completely let go of anything outside of that area of control. But channel energy into things you can build. I want to just lose myself in work maybe. I have this hunch that all the answers and reassurances I seek are beyond that one threshold. I feel like I haven't come into my own and now more than ever I want that. Maybe it's just time to go all in and bet on self and just leave everyone behind. In any case, the only solution I know to self doubt, to feeling blue, to insecurity... Anything at all... Is to just immerse in work and goals and forget the rest. Guess that's what I'm going to be doing from now. Anything to abate this weird sense of mental exhaustion I suppose lol. Idk man. I feel kinda lost and adrift and I don't like it. I want to have things to look forward to again. To wake up all happy and looking forward to the day etc. Heh. I hope this is just a small phase.