I've again become quiet and withdrawn lol. Feel so stifled sometimes, like if I express myself, people will just hate me for it and take it in the worst possible way and yell at me or treat me badly. Invariably happens with me, huh? I sometimes wish I was a different person, I never even know what I'm doing that's so bad. But I must say, it does suck that someone I've been consistently so nice and supportive towards will not hesitate to raise their voice at me in public, and then act like it didn't happen. Like none of that matters, huh? And the funny thing is, no matter how mad I've been at times, I've never once not had their backs in public. I guess loyalty means different things to different people. But I mean, if you value an object over me then okay, what can I even say to that? And I'm not even mad, I'm just a little sad about it. Like I don't care that you fuck up, big shit. But that you just let it lie and don't make amends that's what is so frustrating about you. 

And in a sea of stupid shit that gets said around you... A guy can call someone a pedo or ask some lady to kneel in a room of 50 men, ask me if I'd like to be a cinnamon bun that he wants to glaze in full view of all public and that doesn't  draw your wrath but an innocuous statement about a string gets to you. Priorities amirite?

Oh well, it's okay. I have actually stopped expecting accountability from anyone anymore, so I suppose all this does is disappoint me slightly.

I do kinda miss 6-7 months ago when I was feeling all elated and expressive. Need to go back to feeling happy like I did then. Induce endorphins through workouts lol. Hehe, yeah I'll do that! 💪🏼 But also I want a piece of chocolate 🤤