Allegory of Satan

Now this is a fantastic perspective. A collector of fools, indeed. 

~

Ludwig Stasiak

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And I beat an FM too. Ok good note to end campaign. Hehe. Let's gooooo!

Love

The kind of art I love, it always has a piece of nostalgia, chilling, beautiful landscapes and backdrops and just capture ordinary moments of life that actually make it memorable. Themes of friendship, of getting along, pets, sunshine. It's all so lovely. It's the kind of life we should all aim for imo.

Starry, Warry, Rainy Nights

Rains and Star Wars. What a combo ♥️

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It's been so dreary and rainy the last few weeks. Every time I feel like stepping out it just pours for a good 15 mins lol. But lately I've kinda taken to rains. Not as bad as they seemed earlier. There was a time when this city was perenially cloudy, god that was depressing asf. Always needed sunshine and blue skies. But now cloudy weather doesn't seem all that bad either. 

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Talking to dad and that man has finally learnt to relax hehe... It feels like a good change. And he puts little hearts on my dinner pics haha...I really like that. 

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I hope everyone just remains happy hehe. 

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Wow I have 2199 posts damn. I never realised how much I wrote in the last few years... For a decade or more I rarely ever had anything to say. Haha, or rather I felt it was too fake to write stuff for no reason. And now, I guess there's nothing more delightful than rambling for no reason. 

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M turned that old Barky story into a picture book. It's scary how good ai generated pics can be. 

I love the vibe. And a part of me feels bad for the artist who originally created this stuff. Just feels so bad to know their work can simply be used this way. Hmmm. Well. I'm conflicted. 

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Oh well. I genuinely did love writing this one. It felt sweet and complete. And the vibe ai gets out of it is what I wanted as well so that's great.  I wish there was a way to get the position on the board correct. Very anti npd also haha. How did I see such positivity and hope and joy in such a dark soul? Maybe that's what I wanted them to be. Hope... The quintessential human delusion. Oh well. Maybe that's why we have stories. We can make them up as we go. And I guess I should take it as a reflection of who I am tbh. I am the author of it anyway lol. Feels strange to use the word author. But it is my creation and there will loads more. 

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Here's to more genuine writing, and to filling the blank spaces with colour. 

 

Tripe, Secret Garden

I don't know what version of secret garden I read as a kid but reading it now and the sheer racism of the author is so jarring. Fuck. I think the books they sold here must have been cleaned of the original texts but how tf can this shit still be in print? It's a children's novel and this is what they taught kids pathetic. 

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Mary listened to her with a grave, puzzled expression. The native servants she had been used to in India were not in the least like this. They were obsequious and servile and did not presume to talk to their masters as if they were their equals. They made salaams and called them "protector of the poor" and names of that sort. Indian servants were commanded to do things, not asked. It was not the custom to say "please" and "thank you" and Mary had always slapped her Ayah in the face when she was angry. She wondered a little what this girl would do if one slapped her in the face. She was a round, rosy, good-natured looking creature, but she had a sturdy way which made Mistress Mary wonder if she might not even slap back—if the person who slapped her was only a little girl.

" You thought I was a native! You dared! You don't know anything about natives! They are not people—they're servants who must salaam to you. You know nothing about India. You know nothing about anything! " 

~

This dialogue was allowed to exist in a children's novel, and still does. Coming from the mouth of a child no less. Fuck. 

The world disappoints me. I feel awful reading this tripe. How poetic that it's a day before independence day no less. 

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Sometimes I understand why people can feel insecure. But you have to never bend to this garbage or think less of yourself just coz someone else did. 

I hate racists from the bottom of my heart. All of you can collectively fuck off. 

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I had actually loved this book, it was like a wonderful treasure to me as a child and now I hate it. Just hate it. Whatever sanitized version I must have read back then just feels traitorous asf now. Even The Little Princess was written by this author, I loved that too and I do not want to ever read it again. Funny. Two books that genuinely had a place in my heart and I was so little when I read them I didn't know they were the same author. And now I'm just filled with disgust at them revealing to me the disdain the author held for people like me.

Bitch. 

~

What a deeply problematic fucking book lol. Even the uncle in the book is shown as some ugly dude who had no business landing a beautiful wife, the girl is shown as ugly and people tell her that to her face. It's like the only hero here is the clean air of england like some oasis that heals you. Yeah fuck this for good tbh. 

AlphaGo

Ugh. Literally just sitting in a corridor. ♥️😭💀

The Star

Oh my god.

I am stunned. 4 pages is all it took for Clarke to write this stunning masterpiece. 

I am speechless at the ending. Just. Wow. Absolutely wow. 

~

I think it's the best short story I have ever read period. It's so profound I feel uneasy. Lol.

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Rereading the last question also and this time around I'm so not convinced with its flow. Hmmm. I guess I find Jorge Luis a lot more intricate but I suppose Asimov is a lot more accessible? It's interesting the complexity difference between the two. Never thought I would say this but yeah, Asimov is actually a bit more simplistic to me. Entertaining yes. But not in the same league. And yet, the simplicity is what makes it more accessible somehow. Borges is so much more complex that it makes for difficult reading. Atleast for me. Hmmm. 

Happy place

Blossoms. A city institution that only the OGs care about. 

The oldest used book store where I could spend days and days just browsing with my earphones plugged in. Ugh. The smell of old books, the quiet, the occasional employee walking past... unhurried, and the worlds and years that were contained within each book that made me want to read them all furiously. 

I could never leave without atleast buying 6-7 books and feeling remorse that I couldn't take them all. Fuckkkk. 

Heh. My first time being in a library in my school when I was barely 6-7 that kicked off a lifelong yearning for reading. I've always felt so at home in a library. Dammit. I gotta visit soon. 

Open

After a long time, I felt immersed in a book. This time, it wasn't just about getting to the end, but more about enjoying the journey. It made me think, and I stopped at many parts to just sit and ponder. 

It also made me realise there's much more to life than the one goal. And that having just one goal limits you into a small cocoon when life is to be experienced. 

I don't know how I feel about Agassi, but I appreciate the honesty with which he wrote his pov. I don't relate to him, but I do see how his inner struggles shaped him and how he has tried, within reason... To be as open about it as possible. 

I wonder now... Was that why he chose the title?

Heh. 

Open. 

Cheeky lad. 

~

Think I'll post this as a review too. 

William Blake

Have to see the whole thing but Great Art Explained has some of the best content out there. 

I find this guy hilarious... Hated church, monarchy, exploitation of workers, scientists and possibly everyone else too if he has time to think about it lmao. Man after my heart. Hahaha. 

Calvin

Best stuff to read on nights you can't fall asleep

♥️♥️♥️

Quotes

" And the conversation again turned on the war, on Bonaparte, andthe generals and statesmen of the day. The old prince seemed convinced not only that all the men of the day were mere babies who did not know the A B C of war or of politics, and that Bonaparte was an insignificant little Frenchy, successful only because there were no longer any Potemkins or Suvorovs left to oppose him; but he was also convinced that there were no political difficulties in Europe and no real war, but only a sort of puppet show at which the men of the day were playing, pretending to do something real. Prince Andrew gaily bore with his father's ridicule of the new men, and drew him on and listened to him with evident pleasure. "

Insignificant little Frenchy 💀💀💀💀😭😭😭😭

"Buonaparte was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. He has got splendid soldiers. Besides he began by attacking Germans. And only idlers have failed to beat the Germans. Since the world began everybody has beaten the Germans. They beat no one- except one another. He made his reputation fighting them."

This took me out ngl. 😶

Sometimes Tolstoy can be the funniest guy in the room. 

 

Vv few things I have read that have brought me joy at every age. C n H is one such thing. Never a dull moment and the humor is always on point. What an eternal gem! 

Reading a lot after a long time. In the middle of war and peace and it's making me think. Esp this dialogue

~ My wife," continued Prince Andrew, "is an excellent woman, one of those rare women with whom a man's honor is safe; but, O God, what would I not give now to be unmarried! You are the first and only one to whom I mention this, because I like you." ~

He says this to his friend, while he plans on abandoning his preggers wife at his country house as he goes to war because he is bored. A wife described as charming and beautiful and someone who basically catches every eye in the room. 

This complete neglect and offhand behaviour is literally the stuff of nightmares. Even after she breaks down in front of his friend and point blank asks. A pregnant woman, pleading to know why her husband suddenly seems to have changed? And he is just aloof. 

I would hate a person like this from the bottom of my heart after I was done feeling hurt from the coldness. And the worst part of this is his awareness that his honor is safe with her, which basically means she is just a prisoner in that horrid state. Won't cheat, won't know why things went wrong, most likely blame herself for it or at the very least find herself inadequate. I never want to relate to such a character again. And I never want to see Andrew as a person who is anything other than the cunt he is. This is abhorrent to me.  And I honestly wonder. If someone treats a person this way for long periods, is it not just emotional abuse? And if they are indifferent to this extent, then do you really owe them any loyalty? That whole nagging wife stereotypes that boomers laugh at, it all stems from placing the women in situations like these, cutting off their legs, their freedom, giving them morsels then being fed up when they complain because why not? God, I truly hate the lot. 

Don't ever love someone who doesn't love you back. As a friend, a lover, partner, whatever the equation. Love and loyalty are a contract between two people, bound by mutual respect. There is no respect here in Lise and Andrews marriage, so who is beholden to whom and why? Balance is important, but so is consideration. 

I do also get Andrews pov though, and his hate for the limp, frivolous conversations high society, the banality of such an existence, especially for someone who is well read, clever, informed and would consequently just loathe being stuck with people whose intellect he cannot respect. That itself is enough to want to run away, and avoid a wife that you associated with that group. Personally, I've always hated those circles where it's only displays of materialism but zero substance otherwise. But I can't deny that it is selfish in the extreme to feel this way without considering the impact of your indifference on your partner. 

Anyways, let's see how this situation pans out. 

Fucking just triggered me straight up lol. And I haven't even gotten to the bits that are about war or peace. FML

Late night lounging

Playing chess in bed is why I'm perpetually sleep deprived. 

Man, finally spent a few hours sketching. Feels good to do some for a change. Tried visualising this in my mind so the dimensions are so skewed. Frustrated me lots. It's like a needle in my eye when things aren't just right. Except my boobs, those are on point. I see them everyday, can corroborate 💪🏼. Wanted to use a certain someone's book cover too but refrained lmao. Should ask for permission before I do it I suppose. Lol ask permission. I can't believe I think of these things. 

Sir, if you could be so kind as to...? 

What an ass he is. 🤭 Movie soundtracks it seems. I believed him for a good two hours too lmao. Trusting you renders me gullible when it comes to you, how do I tell you that? You'll just laugh and file it away in that brain of yours, I know!+

I actually did want to know your fav song though :( lol oops. 

Aaaaa. Don't hide stuff I wanna knooooww!!! 

Franny and Zooey

"I'm sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect."

"I'm sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody."

"I’m just sick of ego, ego, ego. My own and everybody else’s. I’m sick of everybody that wants to get somewhere, do something distinguished and all, be somebody interesting. It’s disgusting."

"And I can't be running back and fourth forever between grief and high delight."

When I first read this book, I was all of 17?! Somewhere around that. And none of it made sense to me. I was just like why tf is she complaining so much, how fucking self indulgent. I got back to it at around 19 and it kiiinda made sense to me but not quite. Years later, every second word makes sense. Perspective, really gets you good. The kicker? I suppose I'm being self indulgent too. Except this time it's out of sheer exasperation. But self indulgence nonetheless na? Lol. Whiny like the protagonist. 

What can I even say? 

Bleh, also need to find some yoga and stretching exercises for myself. Atleast gotta take care of the necessary before washing away in a sea of irritation. Hmm. I think I'll ask Raves for some recos maybe, he works out lots so he would have some recommendations.  

Dirk Gently

"There are some people you like immediately, some whom you think you might learn to like in the fullness of time, and some that you simply want to push away from you with a sharp stick."

Lol, as usual Adams hitting the nail on the head. Now...if only I had the discernment of figuring out who goes into what category, I'd be a whole new person.