Thinking and Talking

Last night I couldn't sleep and started thinking about how you entered my life so suddenly. Bits of it felt so overwhelming at first. But now I'm really glad we know each other. Guess that's why I'm taking my time and sticking around you as well. Ever since I've been around you, lots of things have kinda changed for me and well, I get the feeling maybe they have for you too? You are definitely very different from how you were when I first came around, showing your solid sides a lot more. Idk why but I got the feeling that you did that on purpose. Either way it's nice. To think I almost quit and left not once but twice. Around the time you had that one month long sulk. Felt too surreal. Plus with all the other stuff that used to happen around you, I figured you weren't someone who cares about anyone. I definitely didn't think you cared about me at all. Hmmm. Not sure if you do now either actually. Lol. But that's okay, it's a filter of mine that exists for a reason. I have learnt the hard way that I need to protect myself. 

Oh well, if I act silly then just call me out on it. I hope you've realised you have the right. Then again, you are a man. Realising things are not their forte, is it? Lolol jibesss! 

I like hearing your perspective. What you texted today was interesting. Ugh, I want to call and speak lol, but I need you to initiate that part to be honest. I need to know for sure that I'm imp to you too and it needs to be direct, no games and hustles. So I'll leave this to you, your turn. At the end of the day, it's one of the things that's important to me to know, and I guess that's fine. I don't think I'm very demanding or fussy so if I need this then I need this. 🤷‍♀️ Actually, I wonder how you'll even go about it if you have to. I'm sure you are so used to getting people to do what you want that your instincts would be to point me in that direction. I want to see if you can actually be...idk humble isn't the right word but... Like if you are comfortable giving the other person importance directly. I don't think  it comes easily to you. But any strong equation needs that, so you'll have to figure it out. Lopsided mocks are not my thing.  Sometimes I wonder if it's a fear of yours. Hmmm, oh well. Ponderings for another time. 

Anyway, the longer you take, the more ammo I have to nicely nag you someday for taking so long, wait and see. Hehe.