Musings

Do you actually want a kid or was that just talk for the sake of it again? Lol, hard to tell with you. Maybe if you have one, it might help you settle into yourself and be responsible too. From what I see, you aren't a bad person at all. 

I feel like what a lot of people don't realise is that for relationships - responsibility, caring for more than just yourself are things that require work and consideration for the other person. Can't always just be focused on your own needs. Giving the other person importance, making them feel secure, having their backs, these are all ingredients that go into building an actual future with someone. The men I know who have good marriages all do these things implicitly. To me, it's what makes them "men" in a sense too. 

Most people I know now have them to be fair. They know how to have fun but their centers are all solid. And it's a lovely thing. We all derive a sense of security and constancy from each other, I treasure it immensely. 

Treating people in a way that gives them a sense of security about you, and themselves is also so important. Fuck, I remember learning this one the hard way. In my early 20s, I was friends with a lot of guys. I didn't realise back then that even this can be a source of insecurity for a person. I used to just think that since I know I'm only friends with people, the other person should just trust that. But I guess people are more complex than my black and white approach. I started being more open about conversations after that, making sure the other person knows who I spoke to, what was spoken etc. Just so they'd be in the loop. It doesn't always work, but atleast I try to be as transparent as I can be. I don't like to incite jealousy in people, just hate when it happens cuz it just makes things complicated. So I guess this has become my way of keeping negativity at bay. 

Hmm. Idk how many of these values align with yours to be honest. So I guess I'll just assume I don't know you enough, and here's hoping you actually do care about these things. After all, there comes a time in everyone's life when one needs to step up and make the choice to be solid. I'm sure you can be too :)

Listening to: Ronan Keating - When you say nothing at all. 

Some parts of this song really hit home.