Affections and affectations

Buying a small watering can made me happy. Filling it with water makes me happy, struggling to put the lid on because it's some cheapo design and make and fit also makes me happy. 

I've been merry just going about sprinking plants these days, all because of this. Heh. Trying to inculcate in some small forms the stoic disciple in life, actively looking at the small things, smell the roses if you will. And it feels good. Gardening, cooking, painting... Stuff you do with hands, mechanical tasks... They are all very contemplative. I never thought I'd describe myself this way but I suppose I am a very physical person, not just a bookworm. I grudgingly concede in admitting that maybe, juuust maybe... Sartre had a point. Hehe. Hell is other people, huh? Nah, old man pls. Hell is you not being stoic enough to accept other people. Dont blame people, didn't you preach responsibility? I say this cuz why not existentialism amirite? Beauty in a watering can and all that jazz. Woot woot. 

"Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do."

I agree, Mr. Sartre, I agree! 

New candidate! Avril 14th

Total domination by Sindarov it felt like noone else even tried. Weird. I feel the WCC would be anyone's game idk why. His dad seemed soo happy in his win. So good to have a nice support system. It's really important ngl. 

I crave such wholesomeness nowadays. And I think the world needs more of it too. Heh. I like to learn from younglings at times too. You can always pick up some nuggets of wisdom here and there. It's really nice to see the Uzbeks... the camaraderie, the innocence... they are all pretty grounded. And for once the 20yos look and act like 20yos should. Atleast the way I feel they should be...just themselves...no frills, having fun, trying hard, friendship. That's really nice. I think their entire country would be supporting these guys and they seem quite wholesome. His gf calling him one of the kindest people was so sweet. Even he praised her and called her very supportive, which is honestly so good of him. I want that in my life too tbh. To be able to describe someone with pride and also think of them as kind and have them value me, and my support too. That's really important to me, esp being valued. I think that's a two way street that's simply non negotiable. Hmmm. I should remember that, the complete lack of appreciation I have experienced before. Not even a single thank you was pretty wild.

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Meh. 

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It's nice to see smiles all around. Good shit. I also feel kinda smiley today. Hope I sleep well tonight then I can get up a bit early. I keep thinking I'd like to switch running time to early morning when it's cool but who tf can wake up lol. The sun is always shining by the time I wakey. April is already here wtf. 

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And because it's 14th! 

Avril 14th

Richard D James is a modern virtuoso. 

Modern family deffo has some really fun moments. Why don't they make shows like this anymore? And Skins too. Oh man, love skins even now. It holds up so good. I still love Alex and Jay and Mitchi Pritchi. Jay mostly Hahahha fuck. Love that grumpy grandpa. Lukey is the cutest. I guess I just don't like the overly dramatic ones as much. Oops. 

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Growing up I wanted to run away from all this, this big fam business. Now I don't find it so scary either. Hmm. Well that's good, I'm not afraid of other peoples' mistakes anymore haha suck it everyone. It is a relief though, knowing that you don't have to follow the same path other people did. Make your own new mistakes. 😁🤌🏼

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Also, why do people like mangoes? Can I skip taking a shower? I cannot, can I?

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💀💀 Checking the broadcast and wdyk after an entire day of grinding blitz Howell is actually commentating. Lmao. I thought someone else would be hahahah. Fuck, the degeneracy and the staid, old people shirt is making me laugh so much rn ngl. I hope Judith is a bigger degen I would love her so much more. She is already a total beast but maaaan. She is so brash, and actually spots tactics so damn fast. " Sorry David, I have one plan, do you have any? " Ahaha. I know it's a shade rude and she is deffo very brash but honestly who cares. 

I caught that one game too earlier though, hmmm. Made me realise how brutal chess is, the slimmest of margins man. Crazy. Really enjoyed it though. Ggs.

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And I also really need to get off my desk man, I've been here for close to 6 hours. Sheesh. This much sitting gets on my nerves. Need to go outtttt. I wanna play some tennis but noone wants to in the heat lol. Pussies. 

Watching Howell play before sleeping and as much as I like him and how articulate he is, what I really want is this guy to figure out how to beat him nicely. Lol. Like that safe ass approach with neutralizing all counterplay and never risking anything and juuuuuust even in bullet scooping pawns in endgame instead of going for the kill is soooooooooo.

JUST GET HIM GET THAT SAFE ASS PLAY URGH.

Lol. Halfway through seeing this game I find myself wishing I could just spam Sadlers blog to someone juuuuust to tell him to find some new stuff in it haha. Just dooooo it. 😡

So fucking hot running in the afternoon made my hands feel weird what the actual fuck. 😭  Jesus Christ what is this nonsense now aaaah. 

This growing old business just sucks ass. I could play in the sun for HOURS before. HOURS. AND THEN DO MORE THE NEXT DAY. 

ugh. 

Feel like running more to spite my own self lmao. Uselessness 

Ashaji ♥️

Ashaji passed away. Rip. What an icon, what a voice, what a legend! 

Aawaz mai itni khoobsurati bahut kamm sunne ko milti hai. What a privilege to have heard your songs, and your sweet tones. Much love. 💞

Tu tu hai wahi

Old timey beats, and such femininity in your voice, blessings. 

Lotr love

I fucking love lord of the rings so damn much. Dammit. 

Even as the years roll on, there's a special place in my heart for the books and the movies. One of the few movies that adapted the books so damn well. Everything, the casting, the music every detail is so on point. Ugh. 

Those days of  being in uni and getting high and watching the extended cut. 13 hours long lmao. I've done it multiple times and even today I can do it haha. Fuck dude. Good times.  

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Eowyn is my fav. I love Peter Jackson for what he did with that character. 

AND GRRM can suck it with his critique. Just. Lmao. Fuck you for trying to ask about Aragorn's tax policy. Of all the meaningless diatribes. 

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Battle of Helms deep man. Sheesh. What a genius tolkien was. Salud. 

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I'm having such a nice Sunday. After so long. Feels great. And treebeard calling him ' young master gandalf' is just so funny lmao. My fav character ngl. Just the best! Let's have an entmoot while the world burns down. 

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Ugh I wanna see candidates but I feel like today would be boring and naka will give an easy draw just to spite Giri and Fabi lol. My prediction for today. Haha. Let's see if it comes true. 

The Airborne Toxic Event

Song for the day

All these Engagements

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Music to sway to as I paint paint paint today. I feel so nice. Lying on the carpet, wondering when it will be cooler, listening to a voice crooning at me all these super sweet lyrics. 

Oh heyyyy...

So the young woman lies on the bed

While the young man hears lies in his head

And there's no one there and nothing left to be said

Hahahha touche, caught me off guard with those!

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It's this music. The continuity of it, the crescendo, it's similar to prog. The voice, the works. 

Annnnd let's shift to 

Suffocation Blues

Heh. 

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I feel so nice rn. Life is sweet. And Caravan comes on with Can't be long now. Oh man. That song really has some awesome beats. That 60s-70s vibe is so clear. A bit hippy, a bit trippy. 

Bellissimo 🤌🏼

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Bonus:

When my train pulls in

Gary Clark bringing it. I wonder how many people I know would actually like this. Most of them? Maybe. Guys I've known probably would. Oh wow not all tbh. Interesting. Wonder if lastfm is still working. Too happy to check! Toot!

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Arrey Ashaji passed away. Rip. What an icon, what a voice, what a legend! 

Chura Liya hai

Aawaz mai itni khoobsurati bahut kamm sunne ko milti hai. What a privilege to have heard your songs, and your sweet tones. Much love. 💞

Candidates - game 11

W game by Sindarov, really enjoyed it.  Complete defensive mode. Very neat! Game 11 on Apr 11th, in the bag. This guy has such a cool head tbh. Holds his nerves so well. Really fun today, after a long time. Weird to see Gukesh lose incessantly while Sindarov is giving it his best. Interesting times. Hope the WCC actually ends up being really good. 

For the first time I saw a comedian making truly offensive jokes. Against women, minorities, Jewish folks as well as disabled folks. And she is a woman. That's crazy to me. Just. How do you lose your way so much ya. I do not get women like these. Just sad. Esp as she is old asf too.  

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Oh wow 3 queens, just the way I like it! Haha. That game was fun to see. Bullying people near my rating. Would I be bullied too? Ohhhh ooooh la la. Oh now thaaaaat would be hahahahha fuck. Oh boy. Ooooh boy. 😼😼😼 David shall smack Goliath? Maaaan, I would love that! I would, I truly, utterly, sincerely would lmao. ♥️🤌🏼 

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Alle Belle

Zomg. Kept waking up all of last night. That stupid fuckin mosquito. Feel super duper zonked today how to not fall asleep at my desk? 

Ugh. A couple of beers and it ruined my sleep what even. It's weird but I can never sleep through the night properly if I drink why is that? 

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Omg it's raining! Finally! Ooof. That sound is soooo beautiful. Good stuff. I have to, haaave to run today sheesh. 

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Imma make some Alle Belle tonight for dinner. Dessert for dinner, heathen style. What a cute name man. Just 🤌🏼. I wish someone would make me food ngl. Bored of cooking for myself and eating bread and eggs out of laziness lol. Ugh. I want little tlc.

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That keychain broke. Just the other day I was thinking about it lasting so long and pop. It's done. Hehe. 

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I want some beer, this fucking heat and my AC isn't working. I feel like going to one of those old timey balcony and terrace drinking joints lol. It used to be so fun. All the places have morphed into these pretentious upscale joints now it sucks. Sometimes basic stuff hits different. Glass bottles of cheap beer, rock music and a bit of sultriness in the air. Oof. My days of wearing my Floyd shirt and running across town to meet friends are a thing of the past, but the hedonism of youth is something fun to reflect on. Hehe. 

Too hot to even run I just don't feel like it today I'm so goddamn lazy. Ugh. I really should but I don't want to. Waaahhh! 

Well, beer it is for tonight. And maybe some peanuts like the old uncles prefer. Hahah. Let's gooooo!

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Who is winning this candidates, why do I not care at all? 😔 Just feel like Pragg will blunder ngl. Sindarov is a very lucky individual somehow. I prefer Abdusattarov but this dude is deffo quite lucky. Ugh. The worst part is feeling like Magnoose will wipe the floor with the entire field lol. He is by far the only one who has the right mental along with the skills. 

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I also wanna watch Nights of Cabiria can't find it anywhere. Where do you hide, movie?

Stalemate

Hehhe. I have something to say but then again why lol. These things just tickle my fancy in that it's a proper stalemate. I can't call it out without seeming nuts, and that person can't fess up without seeming nuts either. And so we plod along, merrily. Oh plausible deniability, thou art the shroud under which many a benign fuckery can peacefully exist. 

Heh. Doting on him has been a joy, I hope the part of me that insists on doing so, is a part of me I can trust. 

Touché.

Losing the desire to collect thoughts. Is it the heat? God, I hate summers. 

Sindarovs prep got leaked, that's nuts. Idk how much but man that's so weird. Heh. Or it's some high level hoax by him haha. Maaan, sometimes conspiracy theories are super fun. I wonder how much memorization he is capable of. Somehow not finding the candidates all that interesting this time, mostly cuz I don't have any players to root for. I'd have loved for alireza and Abdusattarov and maybe erigaisi to be in it. The rest of the field is so blah. I have noone to root for. :( except giri who I actively root against lol. Fuck that annoying guy. 

Maaan even the coverage is boring wuut.

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Oh hey, Sindarov is 2828 blitz on lichess, that's cool. I like that number. And 3300 bullet holy cow. Damnsss