The end of 2017

I wanted to write something that reflects on and ties up all my experiences this year, but where do I start?
2017 has been so good, so educational, so long!
So much has changed this year. A slow unfolding dynamic that started somewhere in 2016 and is taking shape now. 

Let me do a listicle on this one:

In 2017, I discovered that:
1. Effort is where the fun is at! Getting your hands dirty is a good way to find satisfaction.
2. Reading, and understanding new concepts is an aphrodisiac. 
3. A north star is what steadies you, especially in times of doubt.
4. Doing what is necessary is important, even if it is distasteful af.
5. Sometimes it's good to think less and do more
6. Keep the good ones close, let the bad eggs go. 
7. Acceptance is key. Things that were set in motion when you had no control over them, do not have to have power over you always.
8. Lovers, both new and old, teach you about a dimension of love. The joy of that discovery is one of the sweetest things ever.
9. Clarity and purpose comes from a strong and defined center, it's important to invest time developing that.
10. If all else fails, turn up the volume and daaaaance. :)

Hope 2018 turns out even better than this year! **grin**

Imagined Orders

Mid way through reading Sapiens and can't help but wonder. 

What if all the imagined orders of the world were to break?
Would it be liberating? Or just regular ol chaos?

(-.-)

So here's what I have discovered about this slippery thing called clarity. 
The world says you need it. The books make it sound like all your problems get solved once you have it. It's pretty much the unlock key for better levels.
So you try and try and try to get it. Cuz that shit be hard.

And if you try hard enough...someday...you get a glimpse of it! 
(What a high, self celebrations cuz woohoo!)
Then you realise...
(and this is what makes it amazing)
Noooo-one else has it. 
*eyeroll*

100 article mark!

Dayum! Did not know I had blogged so much...< insert poignant text >

Doing what is necessary...

...sucks at times. Like big, giant donkey schwangs. But it must be done nonetheless. 

A bittersweet thought

While looking at the same thing or event - some people see potential, some others see flaws.

Seeing the former, makes you hopeful. The latter makes things binary. I guess that's why I like Kintsugi - as an art and a concept and a way of life. :) 

Axis

The world keeps spinning
little by little
into the distance
Moving on, in the darkness
towards a place
most of us can't see 

Every little thing
so neat, so precise
makes me wonder now
not really now, but how
the eternal came to be

We had no part to play
we just came into being
the moment had to be right
the place divine
right place, right time

And if everything is just so
why do we try to control
when flowing is just so easy?

All it takes 
is a little time,
a little smile,
to unwind
and maybe, just maybe
to find

Home

"Listen to me girl, life is not a game"

She peeks from behind the curtain, little curls framing her face

Trying her hardest, not to give her presence away

He looks at her and smiles, unaware now

How did he get here, when did he start to belong?

The door bell rings 

squealing she runs out,

she needs to be the one

to always open the door,

to her it's not a chore

Ecstatic she runs,

into the waiting arms

of the one so like her, 

only old

Turning around he sees

A little way by his bedside, on a dimly lit table top

a picture of him and her; dancing to some song

was it their favorite one or was it 80's pop?

Those were the days, the madcap times

he used to chase her around the room

trying to reach into the lightness, her brightness

she was, she is;

precious as precious can be

The little one enters,

flushed with laughter, 

pulling her lookalike along

His heart starts to leap 

like a thousand happy, jumpy frogs

How did they get here, when did they start to belong?

Morning Dew

I sat on the cold, stony floor
a little reckless, frozen to the core
but the skies - so divine
and the stars, ooh can they shine!
Mesmerise

I see the sun
slowly rise
coming up over the cold, foggy sky
inching close
covering me in gold

I see little birds
waking up
chirping and cheeping and twittering and flitting
ready to go
where the winds blow

I look over at you
and see your gentle face
your sleepy eyes
the honest you shines

Isn't it ironic
that you break my heart
and yet you make me smile
:)

How to capture a mood

How do you capture the essence of a mood in words? Sometimes they just fail, don't they? Or maybe it's the writer who fails. Creation to me is the by product of intense, non relenting labour and a will to finesse right down to the last detail.

I'd like my words to be powerful, and evocative - taking you  - the reader - on a journey that goes through the depths and the shallows, the peace and the conflict, the music and the serenity. 

Life would be worth it, if I could create one such work that manages to touch all the right cords, in all the right ways. It's like a dance - the steps need to be precise, the music just so, the pauses need a life of their own and the culmination comes at the right time.

** sigh **

Three Loves

The three great loves of my life - The Empath, The Twin and The Fool.

The first one brought me care and strife, the second one made me face my demons, and the third one set me free. :)

The science of signs

I've often wondered if there is any scientific basis for instinct. Sometimes you just feel like something is going to happen. And a lot of the time, that feeling does come true. So is it because you unconsciously sense the pattern of events and can project stuff on to the future or is it just random chance, coupled with a confirmation bias?

If the former is true, then that would be awesome. Because then you'd be able to project scenarios and actually plan life out better - at least to the extent of achieving goals. 

Need to think :D

Brutal Honesty: An Experiment

In your private life: Call it like it is. Every single time. Let's see what happens.

A beautiful piece of writing

The story is centuries deep, endless like the desert. Where it opens like a mirage. It starts with the vision of wise men, who take the sand, the sea, the sun and weave a masterpiece they call home. They built forts against time, monuments for faith, for the future, where they fill the air with songs of joy, where they can welcome the world, and all its creations.They venture on journeys, full of twists and turns, towering heights and dizzying drops. To treasures of awe, and beauty. Passed down for generations. Waiting for You, to arrive!

Fuck. I Love. 

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsApJY8wpWg

The Happiness Paradox

I read a whole bunch on theories on how to approach life. My friend introduced me to Stoicism, I had earlier experimented with acceptance, detachment, nihilism, existentialism, the whole gamut. But instinctively, none of them were quite right.
And then one day I realised, every theory out there is a by product of the experiences of the individual who proposed it. Unfortunately that person is not me. So while some experiences I have may find a mirror, the rest would not. Fail.
So basically we all create our own handbooks. That is uber cool. Being in the creative business I have observed that the role of creativity is to find solutions within the flux. There is noise, clutter and naysayers everywhere. Yet your role is to find that sweet spot that noone has yet discovered. This is applicable to life itself.
It isn't detachment or avoidance or any passive acceptance that makes me happy, its involvement, through and through. All of those other things can suck it. Action speaks louder, takes you places, helps you swim against the current, instead of allowing it to take you wherever. Wisdom is being able to determine the correct action for every situation.

So many experiences, so little time, so much joy. :D

Heart.Heart.Heart.

Key questions that have started fucking with my mind!

As you enter the latter part of your 20's the whole 'let's drink here brooooo' lifestyle starts to take on an old feel. I got to a point where I was not only frustrated but also at a loss to understand why the accepted normal was just not cutting it. 

1. What do I want to build in this lifetime? Family, excellence, providing value? Is there a point of intersection for all goals or should a primary one be the driver?
2. If I died tomorrow, would I be happy?
3. What kind of person do I want to spend my life with? 
4. Do I want the responsibility of a family?
5. How hard am I willing to work?
6. How much responsibility am I willing to take on?
7. Where am I feeling burdened, restricted, confined and limited?
8. How can I change my life to feel competent, capable, expert and in charge (rather than burdened, etc.)?
9. What skills have I developed through my life to date that I can put to work in the world?
10. Am I still living out the "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" of someone else (parents, teacher, partners, etc.)? If so, how can I be truer to my inner essence?
11. How, where, and to what, do I want to make an enduring commitment?
12. If I view this as a time to lay a foundation, what is it I would like to build in the next six to seven years?