Odd odes

I feel most of what I write, can be plonked into one or two very definitive buckets. Most of what I feel and a reflection of the music I am listening to. Come to think of it, I don't think they are mutually exclusive either. So scratch that, it is just one average sized bucket.

Maybe some part of your brain just ends up syncing with the moods of the sound. Like those few years I was living in seedy bars, playing to an audience that didn't really care. And then I got tired of it, and switched to sold out stadiums, rocking my heart out. But then I thought, hey... Indie baby! Indie is the way to go and found myself an underground label, and planned world domination.
Those were the times!

Which leads me to believe that the reverse is also true. Mood regeneration via the help of music. Pick a feeling and bombard self with music representing the same.

Something to compute when we start manufacturing humans.

Note to self: Using phrases like 'representing the same' is a sure sign of having written one too many corporate e-mails.

Thought for the day

"When someone has gifted you with one act of love after another, it’s only fair to ignore their bad moods and concentrate exclusively on the many things they’ve done for you. Acts and feelings should always prevail over moods and words."

Of Monsters and Men

'Just follow my yellow light
and ignore all those big, warning signs'

If only it was that easy, isn't it?
I'd love to have a guide so gentle, yet wise. I feel it would have been great if life, like video games, came with check points. Just so you could save your progress up until then.

Wish of the moment: Listen to this song all day long, and just go far, far away. :)

The best stories

Are the simple ones.

Where I don't need to think too much, I can root for the protagonist, because he or she is me. And we are flawed and this is our journey. And so we try, we hope, we fall, we get up, we give in, we wake up, we love, we laugh, we lose...just not too often, we shed a tear, annnd we move again, we win.

And when the dust settles, there is a slight twinge, because he or she and me must now separate.

Oh, but what an adventure it is! 

Knee Socks

" You got the lights on in the afternoon
And the nights are drawn out long
And you're kissing to cut through the gloom
With a cough-drop-coloured tongue
And you were sitting in the corner with the coats all piled high
And I thought you might be mine
In a small world on an exceptionally rainy Tuesday night
In the right place and time

When the zeros line up on the 24 hour clock
When you know who's calling even though the number is blocked
When you waltz around your house wearing my sky blue Lacoste
And your knee socks"

Alex Turner: You have outdone yourself!
*Swoon*

I don't know how I missed this particular song for so long, but am I glad I found it!
Self Musing: Hope Hozier doesn't ballad the hell out of this one. :x RU Mine was unpardonable.

So here is a thought...

“With her Florentino Ariza learned what he had already experienced many times without realizing it: that one can be in love with several people at the same time, feel the same sorrow with each, and not betray any of them. Alone in the midst of the crowd on the pier, he said to himself in a flash of anger: 'My heart has more rooms than a whorehouse.” 

I wonder now... is it possible? 

Sometimes I feel -  Yes, it is - since I have often been interested in multiple people at the same time. I am sure that would leave a lot of puritans and treasurers of the notion of 'true love' aghast. Somehow we have always been told -  via books, media, films, what have you - that True Love is for The One and Only. Anyone else and settling for anything less is being a total sell-out. But if that were true, then all of us should only find love once, and resign to the doom of a loveless existence if that one doesn't work out. Unless we tell ourselves that the past wasn't 'it' and the current is. Which is cyclical at best, or until we quit trying. 

My interest in people stems from a place of wanting to find out what and how I would feel with each and everyone who has ignited it. It's like being hungry for an experience, which helps you gather knowledge. Go down that rabbit hole, until you come out the other end and actually know for sure what lies there. Like little tales – complete in their own way – bound together by a thread that is your life. Most of them may be short, a fleeting read. Some last longer than others, some in parallel. And so you go along collecting little chits in a memory jar that you can reread at leisure. Inevitably though, after the mystery has been unveiled, it is time to make a move, onward to the newer stories.

I have been able to love the one I am with, while also pining for the elusive lover. A part of him, an unobtrusive one, is always in my heart. It is mostly dormant, except for rare instances, but it continues to exist. Funnily enough, I started out as a very possessive person, but slowly, I am able to accept the presence of the others. In both our lives. The boundary keeps increasing and the area sometimes gets crowded, and that's hard at times. :)  I don't mean that in the context of open relationships or seeing more than one person at the same time. It is more along the lines of what Ariza possibly was trying to say. His love for Fermina never once got diluted, in spite of him having been with other people. To me, it is chaste and pure, the type of love that refuses to get grimy, despite our worldly needs. I have firmly believed that self love should not be the price you pay for true love. You and your life matter, they shouldn't be put on hold because he/she is like Quicksilver, always out of reach.

It might also be that I am afraid to miss out on the 'One Thing I Am Looking For'. I am not sure. I haven't judged myself for feeling this way, because well, why should I? 

So how does one bridge that conflict? White tends to get dirty quick, doesn't it? After reaching a certain point, it feels like letting go and allowing the die to fall where it will, is the best way to stay happy. The need to control is what drives the despair and before you know it, life would have passed you by, with unhappiness being the primary strain. 

Why would anyone want that? :)

Revisiting Delilah

I feel as if I am searching for something all the time. In books, music, quotes, people, everything. Always in search of that elusive factor that may just change everything, give life perspective and help me weave together a story. Sometimes, well most times, I revisit what has been read, heard, experienced just in case I missed something. It's like the world is your dartboard and you have many many arrows and no real clue where the center is. Maybe its just about taking a circuitous route, only to reach your start point, but this time, with knowledge and perspective.

I've always viewed contentment with slight dislike, since it feels like it sounds the death knell for progress. Maybe I was just afraid that, being a lazy person, it would be very easy for me to fall in the trap of the mundane. I don't know.
Possibly my perception of contentment is/was completely wrong. That it isn't about being idle and letting it be, without having wants or needs. It's the feeling you get when you try your utmost and chase your dreams, goal, what have you. And then you come home after a hard day's work and just be.

If I were

... a fish, I'd want to break the cover of the ocean. Just to look outside, you know?
... a bird, I'd like to fly to the moon and back. Just so I'd know what it felt like.
... a rabbit, I'd probably want to dig to the center of the earth. Just to see how far I can go.

Instead I'm a human. And all I do is go to work and back. 
Ugh

For the Samurai's, bad guys and being cool

Shinichiro Watanabe. You are my new favourite director.
Samurai Champloo just jumps to the top of my list for 'Animes to revisit when in dire need of entertainment.'

Heart heart heart. 

Penny for your thoughts

You, and you, and you!
Because everyone's opinion means something, holds some value, right?
What if the answer is "Fuck no!" :x

I sometimes feel only qualified people should be in the business of opinion pandering. I realise the paradox of that statement as I type. :D

On a different note, been checking out One Piece. Somehow just not feeling it. I'd thought it would become my new obsession. But seven episodes in, and I am not hooked. Boo. Must round up suggestions from one message board or another.

Crucial life juncture: Where childhood heroes die and complex personas take their place.

Nononononononono..ooohh. 

A new thought, for a new year.

“Whatever you do or dream you can — begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it”

2016 is heeyah!

Yay!

I am so so so happy to be here. May this year bring loads of happiness and joy to me and everyone I know. :)

Let there be healing, progress and positivity everywhere. :)

The Princess Bride

It was up to her to investigate how the accident had really happened. 

“Ugh”, said the princess, helping herself up from the grass. Her horse had buckled, throwing her off his back, and on to the ground. Her handmaiden quickly scrambled off her own pony and went to attend to the princess. She tried to brush the dust from the princess’s dress and remove the twigs stuck in her hair.

The princess glanced at her reflection in a nearby stream. “No, leave them there. I quite like the way they look.” “Yes, they really frame your face well!” Her handmaiden replied, somewhat snarkily.

The princess narrowed her eyes at the handmaiden, who started to laugh. “Well really Princess”, she grinned at her, “what did you expect me to say?”.

The princess threw a clump of grass the hand maiden. “Fiiiiiine”, she said. “You never let me experiment.”

“Well, of course not. See what you come up with. Now, do you want me to go get your horse back? He seems to have found something quite interesting over there.”

The princess and her hand maiden walked over to where the horse was seemingly pawing at what she could only assume was an abandoned bunch of sheets.

“Mishie! What are you doing? Don’t touch those rags, god knows where they have been”. The princess tried to pull her horse away.

“Hrrrrumph!”, the horse protested. He seemed very dogged about his investigation. He stuck his paw right in the middle of the pile.

“Yeeeeh gads”, squealed the pile.

The princess and the handmaiden jumped back.

“Lords have mercy!”
“Who are you?”
“I could ask you the same question. Why are you bothering me?”
“Bothering you? You just scare…”

“And you could PLEASE do something about your horse? He is poking at my unborn children.”

The princess blushed. She and the handmaiden tried to pull Mishie back.

Slowly the pile of rags took the form of a young man. He extricated himself from the muddle and stood up straight. He was tall and lanky; and looked quite sweet, toused hair and all.

“What are you doing here?”, the handmaiden asked “Don’t you know these woods are only open for the royal family?”

 “I was trying to sleep. And no, I did not know that. That’s a silly rule.”

The princess peered at him, trying not to appear too curious.

“Who are you?”, the lad asked, pointing to the princess.

“I am the daughter of the ruler of these lands.” She drew herself up to her full height.

“Really?” He gazed at her dishevelled clothes and the twigs in her hair. “You don’t look it.” He stated flatly.

His nonchalance, and the suggestion that she looked anything short of impressive irked her.

“Be that as it may, I could have your head at a whim”

“Of course! But you wouldn’t, would you?”, he laughed.

She felt a slight twinge of irritation. Why wasn’t he more respectful and docile? Who did he think he was? Speaking to her like she was a commoner. The audacity! Only her handmaiden was allowed to be so forward, and that too only in private. In public, she too treated her with the deference her position demanded.

“I just might, peasant!” she said, with a slight edge in her voice.

“Well, seeing as how I value my life, I better take your leave!” He picked up his sheets and started to walk away.

The princess called after him “But you never told us, why you were here in the first place!”

He merely waved as he disappeared round the trees.

She ran after him, then stopped behind a tree trunk and watched his receding back, a mixture of eagerness and frustration in her heart.

It was safe to say, she was hooked.

Perspective

I came at you when I was 12,
and you taught me how beautiful thoughts, journeys, ideas and writing can be.
I came at you when I was 25,
and you showed me how wrong I, my ways,and my actions could be.
I came at you when I was 50,
and I understood that flaws, like everyone else, are a part of me.
I came at you when I was 75,
and all I could do, was smile.

Over the hill and on the way!

Wooohoooo!
Personal progress lvl up!

:DDDDD

I am soooo happy today.

Of gorgeous days and awesome weekends!

Out of the blue, there come a small bunch of days which are an absolute delight!
The mornings are cold enough, the conversations are deep enough.
The lighting, while ambient, is inclusive of all.

David Gray croons softly in my ear, and my tea has finished brewing. I feel as if I'm walking on a cloud and I am just so happy. :) :)