“With her Florentino Ariza learned what he had already experienced many times without realizing it: that one can be in love with several people at the same time, feel the same sorrow with each, and not betray any of them. Alone in the midst of the crowd on the pier, he said to himself in a flash of anger: 'My heart has more rooms than a whorehouse.”
I wonder now... is it possible?
Sometimes I feel - Yes, it is - since I have often been interested in multiple people at the same time. I am sure that would leave a lot of puritans and treasurers of the notion of 'true love' aghast. Somehow we have always been told - via books, media, films, what have you - that True Love is for The One and Only. Anyone else and settling for anything less is being a total sell-out. But if that were true, then all of us should only find love once, and resign to the doom of a loveless existence if that one doesn't work out. Unless we tell ourselves that the past wasn't 'it' and the current is. Which is cyclical at best, or until we quit trying.
My interest in people stems from a place of wanting to find out what and how I would feel with each and everyone who has ignited it. It's like being hungry for an experience, which helps you gather knowledge. Go down that rabbit hole, until you come out the other end and actually know for sure what lies there. Like little tales – complete in their own way – bound together by a thread that is your life. Most of them may be short, a fleeting read. Some last longer than others, some in parallel. And so you go along collecting little chits in a memory jar that you can reread at leisure. Inevitably though, after the mystery has been unveiled, it is time to make a move, onward to the newer stories.
I have been able to love the one I am with, while also pining for the elusive lover. A part of him, an unobtrusive one, is always in my heart. It is mostly dormant, except for rare instances, but it continues to exist. Funnily enough, I started out as a very possessive person, but slowly, I am able to accept the presence of the others. In both our lives. The boundary keeps increasing and the area sometimes gets crowded, and that's hard at times. :) I don't mean that in the context of open relationships or seeing more than one person at the same time. It is more along the lines of what Ariza possibly was trying to say. His love for Fermina never once got diluted, in spite of him having been with other people. To me, it is chaste and pure, the type of love that refuses to get grimy, despite our worldly needs. I have firmly believed that self love should not be the price you pay for true love. You and your life matter, they shouldn't be put on hold because he/she is like Quicksilver, always out of reach.
It might also be that I am afraid to miss out on the 'One Thing I Am Looking For'. I am not sure. I haven't judged myself for feeling this way, because well, why should I?
So how does one bridge that conflict? White tends to get dirty quick, doesn't it? After reaching a certain point, it feels like letting go and allowing the die to fall where it will, is the best way to stay happy. The need to control is what drives the despair and before you know it, life would have passed you by, with unhappiness being the primary strain.
Why would anyone want that? :)
I wonder now... is it possible?
Sometimes I feel - Yes, it is - since I have often been interested in multiple people at the same time. I am sure that would leave a lot of puritans and treasurers of the notion of 'true love' aghast. Somehow we have always been told - via books, media, films, what have you - that True Love is for The One and Only. Anyone else and settling for anything less is being a total sell-out. But if that were true, then all of us should only find love once, and resign to the doom of a loveless existence if that one doesn't work out. Unless we tell ourselves that the past wasn't 'it' and the current is. Which is cyclical at best, or until we quit trying.
My interest in people stems from a place of wanting to find out what and how I would feel with each and everyone who has ignited it. It's like being hungry for an experience, which helps you gather knowledge. Go down that rabbit hole, until you come out the other end and actually know for sure what lies there. Like little tales – complete in their own way – bound together by a thread that is your life. Most of them may be short, a fleeting read. Some last longer than others, some in parallel. And so you go along collecting little chits in a memory jar that you can reread at leisure. Inevitably though, after the mystery has been unveiled, it is time to make a move, onward to the newer stories.
I have been able to love the one I am with, while also pining for the elusive lover. A part of him, an unobtrusive one, is always in my heart. It is mostly dormant, except for rare instances, but it continues to exist. Funnily enough, I started out as a very possessive person, but slowly, I am able to accept the presence of the others. In both our lives. The boundary keeps increasing and the area sometimes gets crowded, and that's hard at times. :) I don't mean that in the context of open relationships or seeing more than one person at the same time. It is more along the lines of what Ariza possibly was trying to say. His love for Fermina never once got diluted, in spite of him having been with other people. To me, it is chaste and pure, the type of love that refuses to get grimy, despite our worldly needs. I have firmly believed that self love should not be the price you pay for true love. You and your life matter, they shouldn't be put on hold because he/she is like Quicksilver, always out of reach.
It might also be that I am afraid to miss out on the 'One Thing I Am Looking For'. I am not sure. I haven't judged myself for feeling this way, because well, why should I?
So how does one bridge that conflict? White tends to get dirty quick, doesn't it? After reaching a certain point, it feels like letting go and allowing the die to fall where it will, is the best way to stay happy. The need to control is what drives the despair and before you know it, life would have passed you by, with unhappiness being the primary strain.
Why would anyone want that? :)
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