Agassi

It's v imp to protect your own mindspace. I felt so utterly fatigued just interacting with those folks and I do nooooot want to anymore. Or at the very least, I do not want to engage more than necessary. I don't yet know how to strike the balance but honestly, I just feel like these inane conversations are a complete waste of time. I neither learn anything nor do I enjoy them nor do I have any sort of fun discussing that garbage. 

Shit... I don't want to be harsh to people but at times these overbearing ones are so unbelievably tough to deal with. Part of it might be my fault for engaging also, I should keep it minimal. 

Whew. 

Lmao... I actually feel exhausted with this haha. I have become a lot more private than I used to be, but I just like that so much more than anything else now. 

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Reading Open. I love Agassi. Such an honest and beautiful autobiography. There's v few over the years that I have enjoyed, this is one of them. I want to read that inner game of tennis too. I think it's pretty loved and should be good. Hehe. Nice. This is a much nicer use of time than anything else. <3

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"Tennis is the sport in which you talk to yourself. No athletes talk to themselves like tennis players. Pitchers, golfers, goalkeepers, they mutter to themselves, of course, but tennis play-ers talk to themselves—and answer. In the heat of a match, tennis players look like lunatics in a public square, ranting and swearing and conducting Lincoln-Douglas debates with their alter egos. Why? Because tennis is so damned lonely. Only boxers can understand the loneliness of tennis players—and yet boxers have their corner men and managers. Even a boxer’s opponent provides a kind of companionship, someone he can grapple with and grunt at. In tennis you stand face-to-face with the enemy, trade blows with him, but never touch him or talk to him, or anyone else. The rules forbid a tennis player from even talking to his coach while on the court. People sometimes mention the track-and-field runner as a comparably lonely figure, but I have to laugh. At least the runner can feel and smell his opponents. They’re inches away. In tennis you’re on an island. Of all the games men and women play, tennis is the closest to solitary confinement, which inevitably leads to self-talk, and for me the self-talk starts here in the afternoon shower. This is when I begin to say things to myself, crazy things, over and over, until I believe them. For instance, that a quasi-cripple can compete at the U.S.

Open. That a thirty-six-year-old man can beat an opponent just entering his prime. I’ve won 869 matches in my career, fifth on the all-time list, and many were won during the afternoon shower."

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How interesting that he also feels this. Now the rule is gone, so it must mean a lot more to the players to be able to interact. Man, I feel bad that I had once thought it was silly. I remember telling M and he thought it was silly too but I guess if people like Agassi point it out then they must see some merit in it. 

But you are wrong about track and field and distance running Mr. Agassi. Running is an extremely isolating sport. You don't talk to yourself out loud, but you have just yourself to count on there. It doesn't matter who is besides you, once your mind hits rhythm, it's just you and the next step. 

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"The tennis bag is a lot like your heart—you have to know what’s in it at all times."

How cute. ♥️