Being acknowledged is one of the most important things to me tbh. If there's one thing that's a complete deal breaker for me, it's lack of appreciation and lack of these little things. And genuine acknowledgement, you can always tell when someone is being sincere. I was rereading the story I wrote for S, and how nice it felt when he and my friends all appreciated it. It's a small thing, but it meant the world to me. And the story for V, they all were so happy to see it and it felt nice. Even reading this Jolly's book rn and seeing the vid when it was revealed to Josh shows me the perfect kinda picture of camaraderie. It's not just about Josh appreciating the effort, but the acknowledgement of the love and care Ollie put in. And the thing I like about Josh too is how in his own way he shows a lot of care to his friend. That's so important. You can't just use people lol. 

Well, I'm glad slowly and steadily atleast I'm letting myself admit that there are certain things I consider important and those things I'm not willing to let go of. Just ends up feeling like emotional slavery without it to be honest. 

Heh... At this moment, I'm kinda feeling hurt about something. I know it will abate, but I don't want to forget the thing that made me feel bad. It's not worth it in life to be treated badly. And I should pay more attention to how I feel and not try to find excuses for why someone did that etc. The fact that I'm hurt, and there was no trace of care ever that I felt bad... That should take priority over everything else. Otherwise idk, it'll just be a pattern and I do not want such patterns in my life anymore. Someone who can rationalize or justify hurting you once, will probably keep doing it. I want niceness in my life. I'm not willing to compromise on that. Hehe. Guess I'm starting to be a lot more caring towards myself :)