I hate it when fear of any sort takes hold of me. It's the one mind space that really fucks up my lens and that panic is always a bad thing. But I guess it's the passage of time and sometimes it is good to have perspective thrown at you even through that. I'm a lot calmer now but I am definitely sure that this kick in the ass was required. I'm grateful for my friend, helped me get some perspective. Atleast she is so patient that not once was she irritable or anything, just a good sounding board. But yes, I want to wake up with a positive mindset and do the necessary things and focus on myself a lot more from now. Slow and steady. And I'm gonna just take it a day at a time and think of it just as " today I gotta get xyz things done". Let's see how it goes.