Aaaand it's a draw. Shocking! Haha. Oh well. I miss players like Magnus who just push push push. Hearing some thoughts about mentality etc and I feel like it's an oft overlooked aspect of chess in general. Very little importance given to it all round, all things considered. Someone said it correctly... It's like the equivalent of having a pint before an innings from back in the 90s. A bit too loosey goosey. Nevertheless. 

~

 🕵🏽‍♀️🕵🏼‍♂️🕵🏼‍♂️ 

Do everything except the normal thing. Issa rule. V proud. But also feel like laughing lots lol. 

☝🏽what I picture everytime and then go AWWWWWWW 😬

Another London. After a rest day. 😭😭😭😭😭

I'll cry ugh. 

China

30+ year old bowls, been around longer than I have lol. Timestamps into diff phases of life, while remaining unchanging. It's like those essays in school we used to write using an object as it's subject hehe. 

Lol I think this fellow is being a baby again haha. Why is he so weird ya? I'm always torn between affection and exasperation with him lol. Oh well, in a good mood so affection it isss for now. Don't want to feel irritation then it'll again devolve into you do it no you first types. He really doesn't know how to maintain and cherish equations tbh. Simple things these be, but get tiresome over long periods of time. Why should someone make an effort for me, when I drop the ball on doing the same for them? A question he should ask himself and be honest about what that says. Oh well. People will eventually leave you if you simply treat them like that. It's a lesson we all learn. Blah. Whatever, we are all adults hehe. Nein. Children. I'M DEALING WITH CHILDREN. Full grown kids haha. Okay noooot letting it devolve to irritation it's toooo pretty today to do so. I'll also be a chiiild hehe.  Imma read and chill. 🎃

Maaan beginning of the day and M is already starting with the taunts and such. Lol. I feel like she is really becoming annoying these days. Haha. Even at the concert she randomly snapped at C then was pissy when he didn't let her get away with it. Weird. I feel like they aren't actually a good couple to be honest. He brings out the worst in her and she doesn't know how to deal so instead resorts to taunting and snark to even the score. And it's spilling over to me as well. I'm getting kinda tired of them both to be honest. Plus I don't blame her completely, C is a fundamentally annoying asf person who needs to pull others down to pretend to be superior. It's sad man. Just sad. Ugh. Maybe I'll just meet her solo from now but idk how long my patience will last if she just keeps behaving like this. Ugh. Random ass issues sheesh. But blah idc. Too pretty outside to let someone bother me. Hehe. People can learn to be nice on their own from now, I'm not going to take the trouble. 

A day to be lazy is a day to cherish hehe. So much sunshine I want to go outtttt 🙀. Aaa dilemmaaaa

 💀 What a completely strange sleep this was weird. Ugh. Nothing like getting a weird dream then forgetting what it was but remembering how you felt during lmao. Where is that fraud Freud when you need him?

Fuck it going back to 😴 

 Fitful sleep and weird dreams and waking up shivering cuz threw covers off. Great start lol

 💀

Sometimes wonder if going full krammers would be fun or no lol. Throw your hands in the air like you just don't caaare! 👐🏼

Late night thoughts that make me chuckle but also contemplate. 

Fide blooping and starting live stream for game 10 on a rest day and someone else promoting levy lol. I don't mind him as a content creator as such, but it boggles my mind how people gravitate towards him so much. But then again, I suppose chess needs people like him to make it accessible. Oh well, the absurdities of the sport I like make me love it a tad bit more. 

Vibes

 Obey, disobey! 

That question about M really made me think actually dayum. I kind of feel like there is no literary character I've read that comes close to her either. Usually I can draw a comparison somewhere. Well, that is unique in itself I guess. One of a kind, the one exception to the rule. That's pretty thematic I suppose. 

~

A darker shade of magic is turning out to be a derivative of Philip Pullman's books. That sucks. And Sword Catcher a derivative of this lol. Where are the original ideas or atleast semi original ideas man? I'm yearning to read a book that contains them. 

Even mystery and intrigue would do. Heh my favourite genre for years. And Christie the queen absolutely ruling on that front. Thing about human nature, once you understand someone, you know the kind of choices they will make. It's what I love and find frustrating at times about people. However, I suppose the same rule applies to me so someone somewhere must be frustrated with me as well haha. Oops. Sorries! 😬

Cold December is upon me. Feels nice for a change. And quite relaxed. Finding some folks to play tennis with too hehe. Oh man I love this game so damn much. Just being on the court feels so good. Have to pick it up again but fuck it's fun to play.

If I had to write M out as a character, how would I go about it? Hmmm. Never thought of that. Whenever I try to craft someone into one, it's usually cuz I see a dominant trait that I can highlight and craft a story around. And it also serves to tell me how I view them internally, even subconsciously. But with her I'm actually quite at a loss here. Damn