Woke up at 4 am and worked out promptly. Was thinking to myself... I feel like doing my best and being better when I feel like I have a larger purpose. I have never coveted anything in this world tbh. To a point where people around me would always wonder why because everyone took it for granted that being smart meant you want the bigger slice of pie and I've never wanted that at all. But what I do love is doing my best for people I care about. Building something for them, for the community around me, being helpful, being strong... All of that is very outward driven for me. I feel like since you have finite time, atleast spending it so life is better for everyone with you in it is worthwhile. Even if I was building a company or a business, I think my end goal would remain the same...to get to the top simply to impact the community around me. I hope someday I get a chance to change things for the better for some people atleast. I would love that. I'd like to do this via making education possible and accessible maybe. Rn it is a very nascent dream, but as I gather my wits and get to solidity, I think it is a dream that I would like to fulfill. 

I think everyone needs a leg up and someone to believe in them. I believe from the bottom of my heart that no matter the odds, people can over come them with a little help and encouragement. My last company... I saw VC, a guy who was barely few years older. Top B schools, generally a typical management guy who was nice as well as driven. And then turned out he had polio. A disease I thought was eradicated tbh. And it felt so fucked to see. Until then I had never suspected that he might come from a place where his parents were so neglectful or that he must have really had to leave that impairment aside to do his best. It's not easy, but these small instances in life really tell you a lot about people. 

I've had the luxury of a good life, of being able to do as I please. Not many have it. But for what it's worth, I'd like to atleast be able to give back in some shape or form. To my family, to my friends, to people who have been there for me. I'd like to be a rock for them. And take care of them and genuinely just make sure whoever is in contact with me atleast feels a sense of happiness that they met me. That would make me very happy to know that I achieved that on balance. Heh. Maybe I am my grandad's granddaughter after all. He might have been a semi influential man, but more than anything he was an honest man. Never did anything wrong, didn't exploit his power, took only what was given and never more, and helped everyone around him. I admire and respect that. I didn't know him too well, but this is my idea of him and I'd like to believe I'm right. More importantly, it's my idea of what's right in life and I would like to live that thought.