That account popped up on my feed again and I  remembered that shit this guy pulled with that shreya girl and how he got her to delete her comments and then delete herself from that account itself for a bit. A few weeks ago when I saw that I was so weirded out and shocked. Reading that post again today and it feels like meh. People will do what they want. It's all so childish and silly too. All of it. The hiding, the sneakiness, deception what have you... whatever it is...everything. It's just... Whatever I guess.

Going to such lengths to hide stuff is just kinda sad.

And I just don't care at all about all this childishness and I'm over all this weirdness tbh. There's no need for hiding me from someone or someone from me or any of this, I'm not his mistress for him to go to such lengths to keep me away from his life and idk, after seeing L etc I just feel all this bs in life is simply not worth it. It could have been me who got it too and the idea that someone can be stuck thinking he needs to not reach out to me, or has to hide his life from me or just give busy kinda excuses yadayada is a bit too lame tbh. Blah. I can't help him understand any of this, you either get it or you don't. So sad no. If it was me and I don't tell I could just die and he would be sitting there thinking mean thoughts about me trying to ignore me to prove how he doesn't care about me. Lol. Funny. Tragic that it feels like it might be a distinct possibility. 

...

Lol. What a weirdo he is. Idk why he has to hide so much like what is there to even fear? Feels like at times that he is ruled by a lot of fears tbh. I realised he hates confrontation so runs away from it. V avoidant, but you should not feel so unsafe in everything. It's almost like some ptsd and phobia for him and I can't imagine why. Really sad though. Can't imagine someone living with such paranoia and the need to hide stuff about themselves. Bizarre. 

Like it's okay if there's a tiff here and there, that's just life. Well, I hope he works on his issues idk what else to say. Heh. Sometimes it used to make me v angry which is unlike me but then realised that maybe I'm dealing with someone with a lot of personal issues or something. Hmmm. Well, I can't make him feel safe but by now he should just feel so on his own. Or maybe he is doing something shady lmao. Who knows with guys? Anyway,  I'm v forgiving and I'm quite soft on the inside but you gotta be able to be decent and be honest and open otherwise what's even the point. Especially reaching out. It's fucked up that he has the same trait as A and it's v worrying cuz I can't deal with another narcissist again man. It's extremely red flaggy that he hasn't done it once in two years that is not normal. And I am sure as shit not his past or evil in any way. So it's v bizarre to be like this. Tired of feeling like he thinks I might be or whatever. Blah. Fuck it.  Anyway, so it goes. 

~

You know what I would have liked tbh? A little appreciation actually. Like thank you Prajakta for being there for me, thank you for caring about my well being, thank you for reaching out always and caring about me and being in my corner. Thank you for always being supportive of me. Because I have done all that and I always will, but a little bit of acknowledgment goes a long way. Those are the words that would have actually touched my heart tbh. Randomly ignoring me or acting like what I have to say has no value and all that is just soooo... well in his words kinda mocked. You can't always just be about you, at times you gotta also ask about the other person. When someone's a good friend to you, you should also be nice to them...Well. Everyone should learn the value of appreciation and showing someone you value them. Light heartedness, happiness, laughter, positivity, value, consideration... All of that would have been nice. 

Oh well... Life should be simple and from my side it is and has been. Rest of it is not my issue. 🤷‍♀️